start dreamin', baby. (rewritten)

I wonder if you know what it’s like
five foot three, weigh more than
you think… I look like I’m twelve
(I’m a senior you know)
sometimes, the smoke escaping from my mouth
every morning (afternoon) .night.
is the only thing
reminding me that,
oh. yeah.
I’m still ALIVE.
still breathing (READ: Killing Myself)
still existing in a world where I
am different.
(politics aren’t the same)
substance keeps me going,
but you don’t get it.
you never will.
because I live for
adrenaline rushes,
for rule breaking,
I’m a *ahem* bad ass.
and I have forgotten what it means
to be innocent.
I’ve heard all the stories
SEX.DRUGS.ROCKANDROLL.
how I wouldn’t believe them if they
told me.
they always told me.
I was always involved.
I am another day closer to becoming
a groupie.
(start dreamin’ baby
maybe you’ll get lucky this time)
I’m another hour closer to death
or polarity.
(with two sides
bipole, dipole, roller coaster, roly poly oly)
I’ve started cleaning out my brain
for the next four years.
(I’ll never need scatter plots again)
Did. We. Ever?
and I’m learning what the never
taught me.
in school.

BREATHING is NOT optional,
even a BROKEN heart BEATS,
I am ALIVE and WELL.

and WE are unstoppable,
on our mission to mars, and we
won’t stop…
until we reach Saturn
( I always wanted to see Saturn)
we cannot be beat
(we are the world.)

• On Tuesday, April 8, 2008, Malice In Wonderland (752) wrote:
  
  This still fucks with me when I read it...I miss you guys:) still lovely...
  
  
• On Saturday, December 30, 2006, Mylissa (1128) wrote:
  
  FUcking wonderful!
  
  
• On Thursday, December 7, 2006, Malice In Wonderland (752) wrote:
  
  damn you Jill, lovely.
  
  
• On Saturday, November 18, 2006, SamoneDrone (348) wrote:
  
  I adore the positive prophetical feel this has. So full of potential, determination, and self-refelction. This is supurb. (Yes, scatter plots are rather silly.) ....-Samone
  
  
• On Tuesday, October 24, 2006, Lythodaemil (9) wrote:
  
  "Even a broken heart beats" I love it. Keep it, wrap it, roll it, and smoke it. These words will keep you and I strong.
  
  
• On Tuesday, October 17, 2006, Nail Bunny (184) wrote:
  
  This is GREAT!!!!! This is a fabulous piece of work, and deserves to be exalted.
  
  
• On Tuesday, October 17, 2006, Lilith (21) wrote:
  
  wow!! i like the whole thing. awsome to read aloud. ~sara linn~
  
  
• On Tuesday, October 17, 2006, Instant Insanity (657) wrote:
  
  I told you once, and I will say it again, I love it. I love how you put your thaughts inside other thaughts:-D ][Nstant ][Nsanity