To Break the Silence

If I could find a way
Out of this darkness
I would thank you for every moment
Of happiness in my life
But I fear I will live forever
In this silence
In the darkness of depression
And I am truly sorry
For I know I should be thankful, grateful
But the words of grace
Just can’t find my mouth
Much like I can’t find
A way out of this pain
Out of this confusion
I must confess
I don’t understand
What is happening around me
What has consumed me
Its like I’m smothered in guilt
For something I haven’t done
Something I can not comprehend
But I know this feeling
For I have felt it before
Though it does not have a name
And the floor is comforting
To a child that can not sleep
To a soul consumed by hate
Hate of life itself
Of this never ending story
And as I think of all of this
I really am sorry
For I can not speak
Can not break the silence
For I can not be forgiven
I can not find faith
But I am thankful for all those good times
Even if I can not say it out loud
I truly do love you
I hope you know that

• On Tuesday, October 10, 2006, Killswitch (468) wrote:
  
  Sad & beautiful.
  
  
• On Monday, October 2, 2006, Bluegirl (213) wrote:
  
  This is so sad. Beautifully expressed. Keep them comming, hun!
  
  
• On Tuesday, September 19, 2006, mywristshurt (449) wrote:
  
  that's so beautiful.. i wish i were able to say that to somebody.. the love you have for him, i can tell, can't be put into words.. you write so beautifully
  
  
• On Monday, September 18, 2006, sixsixnine (573) wrote:
  
  wow! i need this. thanks
  
  
• On Sunday, September 17, 2006, TaintedButterfly (838) wrote:
  
  That was heartwrenchingly beautiful. Such powerful words, relay such powerful emotions! Well done. Julia~
  
  
• A former member wrote: "I really am sorry/For I can not speak/CCan not break the silence" To have words you'd die to have flow from your tongue, and yet you say nothing for fear of what those words might bring...excellent write. ~*Beth*~