The Screaming In My Head

I don't want to understand
These feelings inside
I don't want to know
What makes me tick
And tock, talk to people
Until i feel like dying
Tortured inside
I can't pretend any longer
Yet still there's this smile
Painted on my face
Such a disgusting creature
I am, but not
If only i was home again
Right, within myself

I don't understand what’s happening
Why am i breaking down?
I have no real reason
I'm suppose to be happy
Love suppose to cure all
(though i know that's not true)
And to look out the window
I'm smothering myself
Life's just too damn depressing
Overwhelming, theses feelings
I just don't get it
What's so wrong with me?
That I sit alone and cry
Uncontrollably for no reason
In a house were i'm loved
And a good job
Things are finally going right
So why then, does
Everything still feel wrong
I can not breathe
Fuck, how i hate depression
You can not escape it
Out run it
Destroy it
I just don't understand
Why I'm like this?

• On Monday, May 29, 2006, weyvern (92) wrote:
  
  damn i know this feeling too well! you have written an amazing peice of such a vile thing and made it beautifull. Depression never leaves us but it makes lovely poetry
  
  
• On Friday, December 2, 2005, snowdrop (2148) wrote:
  
  ..the madness of thoughts.. a rush of every sentiment, every emotion.. in a sweeping of swirling tide.. it's almost relief.. the last line.. an end to it all.. for now. ..well-felt.
  
  
• On Saturday, November 26, 2005, Kali Ma (48) wrote:
  
  I know this is cliche - but I really know how you feel... I have been there so many times. Depressed when everythings finally "right". We should talk more, I miss you :).