The Bitter Thoughts of the End

Rage running through me
Not knowing what to do
Wanting to end my life
With a blade cutting through
Blood running down my arm
A tear forming in my eye
Knowing I failed everyone
I’m giving up to die
Going cold
Laying lifeless
My soul drifts away
As if I were priceless
Searing pain rushes through me
As I wake up suddenly
I’m alive opening my eyes to the world
Connected to needles and feeling funny
I’m alive again
Only wanting to be dead
Wishing there was a gun
To put a bullet through my head
Days go by
As I lay in my bed
"God must love u girl"
I remember the nurse said
I don't want him to love me
I don’t want to be alive
Hating who helped me
Not prepared and not wanting to survive
Again I secretly plot my death
In a sneaky mischievous way
Having a perfect plan
Of that upcoming day
It will be flawless
Quick with no mistakes
A bullet to the head
Is all its gona take
No one will notice
Ill be gone for good
I never gave up
I did what I could
I was never good enough
For everyone around to see
I’m just making it easier
This world is better off with out me

• On Sunday, November 20, 2005, warmaprylrain (188) wrote:
  
  wow, deep, penatrating and painfull. The feeling that "it will all be over soon..." is an answer ... and it really is not.. I embrace your words as I hug you thru them.... wow, a powerful write. ~A~