Maybe Tomorrow

i want to disappear

i want to fade so far away
that you forget i ever existed

i want to slice out
every single tear
that i have left inside me
and i want to burn away
every fucking memory
that won't let me be me

i want to starve away
everything inside of me
until i am empty
and i am free

i want to bleed away the self hatred
i want to love who i am
and never be ashamed

because we all have a past

i want to fly
so fucking high
above all of this
and never look down
never drown in this again

i want to be free
i want to be me
and love it

i want to be who i am
and not live in fear
of you finding out just who that is

i can't live
on self deprication
self deprivation

i can't breathe
on emptiness
and self destruction any longer

there are some things in life
that last forever
and there are others
that have to end

but the rope is never tight enough
the pills are never strong enough
and the blade is never sharp enough

and i am never strong enough
to pick myself up and make a new start

i will never be strong enough
to pick myself up and start again

• On Sunday, August 28, 2005, Last1inLine (15) wrote:
  
  "i want to be who i am and not live in fear of you finding out just who that is" I *love* this stanza. You have a gifted heart.
  
  
• On Wednesday, September 22, 2004, urbanhumility (1358) wrote:
  
  it seems you have already started this journey of self realization.......you will find peace........beautiful poem...........urban
  
  
• On Monday, August 30, 2004, OLd SouL (768) wrote:
  
  Wish couldn't have said it better... I can always count on you to hit me up with some hardcore emotions... your work beats my chest in with a hammer. :::OLd
  
  
• On Monday, August 30, 2004, K_Love (598) wrote:
  
  The 12th and 13th stanza was just brilliant... I could never have said the things I wanted to say but you said them perfectly. Thank you for this, Lovely write. ~Kirsten~
  
  
• On Monday, August 30, 2004, Wish Upon A Star (361) wrote:
  
  Sometimes poems like this seem kind of.. attention seeking to me, but this was different. It was raw and honest, and filled with emotion. Really nicely written too. You didn't have me pitying you, but admiring your talent. ~Wish Upon A Star