Narcosis

this negation
soul cessation
now senses fall like never before
futile scission
blunt incisions
fail to kill this inner war.
Fail to kill this endless, bitter, hungry inner war...

I slip through the cracks in my mind and no meaning
is ever quite clear from the deafening screams
of sharp torment and memory, all my own children,
Spawn from Gehenna to burn down my dreams,
And here I lie broken and empty and fading
with lapses of sanity faintly disguised
as beautiful fancies or magickal reasons
or anything else but this void I despise.

And gods, are you watching, I think I should leave now
This horror and winterland must not be real
but the mirror is breaking and I can't remember...
What was it I did when I knew how to feel?
This land so familiar, this house of dementia
- surely I've learnt to leave it by now -
meets my gaze blankly and turns away laughing
(I moved here some time back but I don't know how)
And I've taken your drug but I'm still coming down
To Lethe I'm bound...

and i do not recognise love anymore
i do not recall the passion and pain
i cannot remember bright wonder and glory
emotional coma is all that remains.

I'm told that I'm crazy, I've gone somewhere secret
The words echo strangely (I think they are right)
and promise salvation if I'd only...something...
There once was a reason I thought I should fight
But my veins carry poison straight into my heart
- it once took a while but these nights it's direct -
And I sink in fathoms of dead trust and beauty
Now meet your creation - desire narcolept.

So gods, take a good look, I think you've succeeded
This terror and tragedy crumbled to dust
Now the mirror has smashed my reflection is perfect
In wintercold splinters I terminate lust.
This land I once dreaded now welcomes me warmly
- alien places I understand now -
and takes my hand gently and closes the door
(I think I would lock it but I don't know how)
Internal narcosis the peace I have found
Negate sensurround
To Lethe I'm bound...

and i do not recognise love anymore
i do not recall the passion and pain
i cannot remember bright wonder and glory
emotional coma is all that remains.

emotional coma, subsume me again.
Again
In Lethe
Remain.

More comments:

• On Wednesday, August 12, 2009, Distorted_Reality (146) wrote:
  
  I like to swing by your page and read your poems from time to time. They catch my attention and show much talent. "what was it I did when I knew how to feel" strange I've been asking myself this question quite some time now. This piece really hits home for me.
  
  
• On Thursday, August 13, 2009, purr_verse (1320) wrote:
  
  thank you, truly.
  
  
• A former member wrote: Wow. Amazing. I love it so much!
  
  
• On Wednesday, July 16, 2008, The Zebra Warrior (2209) wrote:
  
  5 years on and the poem/lyrics still attracts attention...a swaying and haunting rhythm amongst the clattered mindset of this lost, poisoned love of the time; an almost existential dip into the stasis that subsumes us all, this was worded with eloquence, control, imagination and creative excellence....a maxim modelled on all lives uncertainties molded into rhythmic sublimation - wickedness!
  
  
• On Sunday, March 2, 2008, RubyXero (525) wrote:
  
  wow. i love the 'lethe i remain'...very interesting addition. this was an amazing piece. i really enjoyed it
  
  
• On Friday, August 26, 2005, Last1inLine (15) wrote:
  
  This is moving. It reads as if fresh from the hand of someone very angry with their own vulnerable state. "And I've taken your drug but I'm still coming down" I love it..
  
  
• On Friday, June 17, 2005, Dysphoria (144) wrote:
  
  theres nothing i can say that hasnt been said, this is beautifull and amazing, i enjoyed reading it.
  
  
• On Tuesday, February 1, 2005, Empathy (27) wrote:
  
  Wonderful description of the battles that subside in all of us. You know.. an emotional conma sounds really good right about now. I'd give anything not to feel..
  
  
• A former member wrote: breathtaking. i have no words now.
  
  
• On Saturday, July 10, 2004, Dancing_Monkey (1550) wrote:
  
  Dont post .. If I cant get to hear it.. damn I'm pissed now.. but I guess thats a good thing..
  
  
• A former member wrote: Excellent, exquisite, I have no words. Just came here in moment of boredom, but what I found shall make me come over and over again. And this is the first poem I read....
  
  
• On Friday, April 30, 2004, Twilight (1917) wrote:
  
  i feel like im reading th ework something destined to be truly great...your wisdom and wordplay could be remembered forever..."blunt incisions fail to kill this inner war"
  
  
• On Friday, April 30, 2004, Twilight (1917) wrote:
  
  to strike a surface that keeps reclsing, whic h has to be torn open for yet another battle from within itself...neverending fight, that you will one day stand upon when conquered.
  
  
• On Monday, April 12, 2004, Dancing_Monkey (1550) wrote:
  
  The using of methapors seen so often spark up to be what they were in the mixture of words and feeling. I liked liked reading this, the second time was even better. Peter
  
  
• On Monday, March 29, 2004, Bakkhus Unbound (1055) wrote:
  
  'And I've taken your drug but I'm still coming down To Lethe I'm bound...Now the mirror has smashed my reflection is perfect' Perfect; yes. Gods, this was.is a phenomglorious poem. Sadness swells my veins now become the dust of beauty...tears to ice to dr
  
  
• On Monday, March 29, 2004, Bakkhus Unbound (1055) wrote:
  
  ...to dreams; i am subsumed...the beauty i have found more real than peace. 'And I sink in fathoms of dead trust and beauty...'
  
  
• On Thursday, March 11, 2004, sulkylime (238) wrote:
  
  magnificent write.. mindblowing. i am brutally ..electrified with these lyrics.. emotional coma, subsume me again. damn --lime.
  
  
• On Tuesday, March 9, 2004, capt_funguy (909) wrote:
  
  what a stunning arrival ... you opened the door to DP ... and changed it ... and this was the day it happened ...
  
  
• On Tuesday, March 9, 2004, capt_funguy (909) wrote:
  
  masterful .. somber and defiant ... in wintercold splinters i terminate lust ... amazing ... funguy
  
  
• On Saturday, March 6, 2004, Jaded Jezzabelle (359) wrote:
  
  Damn....you blew me away with this...so brutal with honesty...depicting deep seeded issues that the reader can only imagine....left me feeling hollow and cold....well done