DarkPoetry -|- Six-Out -|- David & Goliath

David & Goliath

you can tread on water- baby. walk a mile in my heart
tip-toe: my love. for you know not what you do

I can count your smiles. and listen to the stories your eyes tell
and I can fall. down-down-down/ heels over head
[for you] - and I doubt you'd even notice.
if only. yea, if only I could take out your rose tinted contacts
see _you. through my eyes. see.perfection

black and gold- my fingers bleed affliction
and I want. as I've never wanted before- I.want.you
my mosaic mistress- welcome to my dreams

if only I could get you out. for it's hard to love- a shadow

and I'd fight for you. every day if it would matter
but it seems/ I've walked into this battle [unprepared]
with only my words-

in a [perfect] world- you'd be mine. but perfection is a rarity
and your heart is still guarded by a giant- your will to not care

and you can call me David. only I've lost my stones

[my fingers bleed affliction] and my heart bleeds denial
I need a bucket. because it's raining remorse
and I'm soaked in your apathy

if only tears were rock hard. I might stand a chance

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Comments on David & Goliath

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On Saturday December 15th, 2007, carlosjackal (1717) writes:

Such tangible yearning..excellent piece and I would love to hear this wrapped in beautiful, deilcate, heartbreaking music.

On Wednesday June 21st, 2006, Mr King (623) writes:

beautiful work my friend!

On Friday March 4th, 2005, AniDayz (1267) writes:

'i can count your smiles...' 'for it's hard to love- a shadow...' 'yea if only i could take out your rose tinted contacts...' ' i need a bucket.because it's raining remorse...'...AND 'if only tears were rock hard i might stand a chance...'~~w o w

On Saturday December 4th, 2004, Urban Shipwreck (985) writes:

Damn man story of my life right here. "and I'd fight for you. every day if it would matter but it seems/ I've walked into this battle [unprepared] with only my words-" Doesn't it always sound good in our heads though? Great work. ~Ryan

On Wednesday December 1st, 2004, SamoneDrone (407) writes:

the first,oh i'de say half, of this poem reminded me of a good song by a very good band, that i love, called fifteen. so nice job

On Tuesday November 30th, 2004, Twilight (2101) writes:

damn jon...this was passionate. is the most sorrowful of ways...i could say i was sorry if i knew what for. but im guessing i wont be let in on that one either;)

On Tuesday November 30th, 2004, stormtalk (908) writes:

This one would make a kickass Bright Eyes song. I like the Goliath analogy, the "mosaic mistress" line, and the shadowy romantic undertones. I'm not sure I like the punctuation as much as the rest.

On Monday November 29th, 2004, Valentine (508) writes:

O my, that last line was just heart-breaking. I cannot conjure a worthy comment. . . . but this poem will go on my faves. . sincerely heart-wrenching, Jon. Wonderfully written - Superb! ~ Rose

On Monday November 29th, 2004, Ravenblade (274) writes:

Amazing write Jon, its been a while since I've been able to come to the site, and usually when I do its for other things, but this was something I couldn't pass up...>Raven

On Monday November 29th, 2004, Velvet_Raventon (697) writes:

Oh my... Who was that written for? She sure should feel bad, but also really good for inspiring such beautiful poetry... ~V.

On Monday November 29th, 2004, purr_verse (1435) writes:

great conclusion, with a powerful and cleverly woven metaphor both there and throughout this deeply saddening write. Wonderfully crafted, of course. Great stuff, sir. :)

On Sunday November 28th, 2004, An Expired Member (45) writes:

wow

On Sunday November 28th, 2004, BeautifulCalamity (583) writes:

--another lovely write. makes sense. nice work.

On Sunday November 28th, 2004, BeautifulCalamity (583) writes:

"but it seems/ I've walked into this battle [unprepared] with only my words-"..ehh, I quote too much..there's a lot I liked about this. it's a very strong piece, covered in sadness and bleeding wishful wanting. you're a lovely writer, and this was anoth

On Sunday November 28th, 2004, Sharon Rose (659) writes:

blah, blah, blah, general words of praise for jon the master, blah, blah, blah....seriously, that's scary sadness wrapped in words...*hugs*

On Sunday November 28th, 2004, frozen (747) writes:

i just think in general your awesome.. I can only expect the best when I read yours amazing write.

On Sunday November 28th, 2004, ShadowFlight (139) writes:

yep... another great one from you... the desire (and fear) is so palpable here- superb write

On Sunday November 28th, 2004, Endifference (266) writes:

Intoxicating. Your words are drugs, and that last line is like a railroad tie to finish up the nails on a most perplexing, entrancing coffin-of-a-poem. -END-

On Sunday November 28th, 2004, Sin (1639) writes:

damn Jon, this was so sad and tragic..it brought tears to my eyes

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