My heart reels and is faint,
the floods are risen.
I stagger in the shock..
I fail,
I faint.

"Come that I be no more alone.."

Is it true that our life is long..
Not so, wise angels say.

Who will watch me waste it..
trembling while they weigh?
Against eternity one squandering day..

Alone, I sit
while the world around me holds it's breath
with eyes glued
gazing.

Each day, I bow in silence...
"Pray you, dear Lord.
Spare me and show forth some pity.
Some pity of me."

Grown
blown
or about to break,
I am returning on will.
Like angels learning how hard it is to
win one solitary sinful soul for Him.

Oh, bud my joys..
with a hundredfold.
Nay, I seek but one,
Pray you, discard the ninety and nine.

One night,
when the moon was bright
turning all the trees to a silver white,
the throbbing music of mine heart strings
slowed to a steady hum
With a sigh and in an undertone,
"Come, not let me be no more alone."

Beside,
I heard a whispered word,
"Arise.
Depart,
for this is not your rest."

Trembling though the voice was mild,
serene as a baby moan...
I staggered,
"Is my body cold, stiff, and stark..
ashes made ashes..
earth becoming earth?"

"Nay, my precious, turn again,
rise and come with me."

Leaning into the light,
his cheek was bright,
but hardly pale.
His eyes beamed with charities
and a dimmed glory above his head.
"I have come at last, my dear heart."

"I have longed for pearls
but not from the mundane sea...
are you mine unimagined manifold?"

He reached out his hand,
"Broken heart, give it to me."

My fear fled, as he led me to the night,
helping me tenderly..
mine hand in his
Bound in hope and freed from wrong
we passed a moonbeam river.
A delay as I laid in his arms,
and he told me of the things we would do.
The joys we will see.
Oh, pray you, let me not
with mute eyes be
nothing worth.
Fullfilling the width of my want,
we set back out,
with hymns and hallelujahs on my lips.

Past forth the streams
to a dry land.
Nothing stirred,
nay, even a solitary bird.
The only sound of our hearts beating
and our footsteps fluttering.
As my cup brimmed to overflowing,
he sang me his songs of love,
"I will accept your heart and the love within.
I shall accept and not sift it apart,
only sift out within it my sin."

Through a village we crept,
high mountains in the distance
screened it from the rain.
On tracks lingering sunbeams to their halting place
counting the last pulsation of the light,
we danced.
As I
searching my heart field for my offering,
gave a handful of sun courting heliotrope.

The air seemed blessed with hope,
"My love, Am I your centre...
all myself that dies?"
He answered not, and we went on.
The glory of the heavens started to fade
as the moon grew dimmer than before.

The moon gleamed not, nor any star,
cold winds rustled near and far
and from the trees dry leaves fell
with a sad sound unspeakable.
"We must make haste, dear."

Out into the dark,
my gut twisted
as if my life
youth
and hope were running to waste.
The only sound was whirr of wing on wing.

He began quickly dragging me through the trees,
without a word or a look back.
For miles and miles,
his grasp grew tighter,
less tender,
less warm.

Often, I would pause for a breath,
but he'd bid me to continue
with harsh quickness.

The air grew cold...
beneath our feet the grass began to wither.
Dark and misty clouds high overhead
in their bosom was the thunder.
Angry lightening flashed out...
forked and red and menacing.

We reached the base of a mountain,
and he let go of mine hand.
"Your dreams are above,
find me there."

I climbed from depth to height
from height to loftier height.
Near the middle,
I lost my grip somewhere.
Reaching out above for his hand,
he sent a chilly smile to me,
"Be not worthless, my shattered glass.."
With no more beauty lodging there,
I set my face
and set my foot.
Deafness
Blindness
and weakness growing...
Nay, even Fury's self can not keep me going.

My hands grasped above,
fair as the changing moon
so fair and frail..
Until I reached the top,
breathless in the unbreathable thin air
I stumbled on the mountain head.

My will but marred
And my heart both crushed and hard.

Alone.

My faint heart reeled,
the floods have risen.
I stagger in the shock..
I failed
I faint.

I knelt down in my agony
"Oh lord, it is enough."
My hearts prayer put me to shame.
"Let me return to whence I came..."
For loves sake did reprove..
"Forgive me, for the sake of love."

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