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"My Last Wish" by Eladrim

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Since you've turned your back i've been dead inside.
Filled with a longing that will never be appeased
You were the one I could confide in,
But most importantly you were my love,
My only hope In a world tattered and torn
Where Misery reigns on it's scarlet red throne.

My heart, like my entire world, is crushed and cold.
In the desolation left by your passing.
The solitude would not seem so bad,
If I had but a memory to hold.
All I ask is that you continue walking,
Don't come back for your touch washes my walls away.




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If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Thursday January 5th, 2006, An Expired Member (34) writes:
Again I love it...you're a great writer...last line is the perfect ending.. Very good words..descriptive..flows nice. I much love it. -Salem


On Wednesday May 11th, 2005, An Expired Member (28) writes:
I like this ... tis very good. Even though you do not rhyme a lot it still flows very nicely as if it were meant to rhyme.


On Thursday May 12th, 2005, Eladrim (61) writes:
yeah i was experimenting with a choppy kinda rhyme...wasn't sure if it was gonna work or not


On Tuesday May 10th, 2005, Serenity (592) writes:
Wow. Such a way with words you have. Keep it up!


On Tuesday May 10th, 2005, Elise (263) writes:
Thats very heartbrokenly written. The last lines powerful, full of meaning. I like this a lot.


On Tuesday May 10th, 2005, blue (1757) writes:
this was good. though i didn't quite get "desolace" ..hehe, i'm not sure that's even a word.. desolation?? that seems to work.. i really like the ending too, see? you just needed to clear your mind. ~b


On Tuesday May 10th, 2005, Eladrim (61) writes:
and you're right, i did mean desolation...cursed typos...


On Tuesday May 10th, 2005, Eladrim (61) writes:
yeah you were right, it all came together :)



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/9590/62227 on Saturday November 22nd, 2008 10:34 AM

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