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"Enemies Unseen" by Loneal

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Were a tear to fall for each drop of life
Squeezed from those wounds so clearly seen
The world would be washed of all its strife
And left placidly calm, quiet, and clean

If rage and self-hatred could be quantified
To a number, a measure, some point to be met
Then an internal joy could be magnified
And a ledger would balance: this credit, that debt

::
::
::

but blades are so handy
~ be dull or be keen ~
and weapons are dandy

... destroy any mean ...
(no high,
no low)
with
not
a
damn
thing
*left behind*
to make
you
.
:
.
*UNIQUE*

...
and yet
...

*AWARE*
.
:
.
that
there is
*more than it*
than
just
a
damn
thing
(to fall,
to fly)
... create balance ...

though blades are so handy
~ be dull or be keen ~
and weapons are dandy

They cannot remove
Enemies Unseen

-

only,
specifically,
Ultimately

...


.Just You.


--/Loneal aka Syn.Dark 040115LOct2006 (KU)/--



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If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Wednesday October 4th, 2006, The Zebra Warrior (2414) writes:
ametrical fusion and sublime flow...heralds almost a new dawn feel....puchy, intelligen and intuitive...astounding poetry, brilliance personified..heck!!


On Wednesday October 4th, 2006, TwilightMelodies (1073) writes:
"only, specifically, Ultimately...Just You." Your rhyme scheme is enough to sweep me off my feet...the imagery, just the icing to the cake. Excellently done, I could drown in your words. ~*Beth*~


On Tuesday October 3rd, 2006, Aunty Depressant (717) writes:
I agree with Alan. And I like the idea of the mechinations(tears/blood) of sorrow being the remedy. Using math/ accounting terminology to eradicate rage by balance, you captured it beautifully. I find too much creative punctuation jarring though.


On Tuesday October 3rd, 2006, Alanarchy (1616) writes:
Those opening stanzas were absolutely perfect.



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/95/88556 on Friday August 29th, 2008 01:24 PM

Certain elements © 1996-2008 Matthew Steven (matts.org)