i am the worst possible thing
for you to want. i'm bad for you.
i cause cavities in your soul
that will ache whenever you see
fishnets or kitty ears. i will decay
your heart until you have nothing left.
nothing left.
and you will even give that nothing to me
that shell i will leave your body as
as a token of your devotion. and i, well
i will run away, which is what i do.
devotion scares me. love scares me.
things that are good for me scare me.
they always seem to turn out
moldy and rotten in the end.

my love is not enough to sustain anyone.
my love is no good, it is nothing
it is a rusty can in a gutter, a bent nail.
and yet you say you want it. don't you understand?
i will leave you wondering
if there is any good in the world.
i will have taught you not to trust.
i will have taught you how to lie.

so why, if you know all this
do you still lie in your bed
opening your arms to me?
are you self destructive?
do you want to be wasted?
i feel terrified i will destroy you
hurt you somehow in a way
that isn't fixable. and i tell you this
i tell you this, and cry

and all you do is wipe away my tears
and pull me close.

i am bad for you. you know it. and yet
and yet...
you accept me into your heart.

i am bewildered
but thankful.

and i will try not
to dirty your life
because i care for you
in that way
only the broken can.

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