DarkPoetry -|- CrOsSeD N BoUnD -|- Blackened Hearts ~ Second Chances

Blackened Hearts ~ Second Chances

Suck the life out of my soul
My heart is black, dark as coal
Our zombies crept among the graves
My time with her was time depraved
Broken laughter behind the her smile
Nothing left but shattered tiles

She held her hand against her chest
I'm in her heart, a restless guest
She felt the pounding, much like drums
I'll be here when tomorrow comes
Breath of hatred fills her lungs
We made mistakes, but we're still young

She licked her lips, they're bitter sweet
She fell down, fell off her feet
I picked her up a time or two
Her skin is pale, her lips are blue
I watched her fall through darkened nights
She soon awoke by brightened lights

Tread away from this illusion
It's just another fake dylusion
Wake up now, look in my eyes
I'll wipe your tears if you start to cry
Hold my hand, and hold it tight
Everything will be all right

One more chance, I'll do my best
I refuse to fail this test...

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Comments on Blackened Hearts ~ Second Chances

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On Sunday May 15th, 2005, LovelyAssassinx (208) writes:

I loved this poem. Wonderful job. ~Unlucky

On Wednesday February 9th, 2005, your_only_love (163) writes:

Hum. I do not think the title degraded the poem at all, but.. People give away higher appraisal towards lesser things. Nonetheless, I enjoyed this poem. It was somewhat simple, but with a steady beat, and in this case I think the simplicity worked well. N

On Wednesday February 9th, 2005, K_Love (684) writes:

I'm glad I read this today, the flow was done wonderfully and altogether it fitted perfectly. I loved it all, beautiful work.

On Wednesday February 9th, 2005, CrOsSeD N BoUnD (61) writes:

ill make it better than.. fuckin babies....

On Wednesday February 9th, 2005, Lynaes (1109) writes:

Babies? That's not very fair.. if you don't want opinions or suggestions, disable comments.

On Wednesday February 9th, 2005, Zara Synn (75) writes:

Your rhyme and flow are great....the simplicity of the vocabulary kinda dulls it down for me, though. And yeah, I couldn't really get past the sticky caps....

On Wednesday February 9th, 2005, The Crimson Queen (1221) writes:

i luv you!!! and ignore Six-out's comments..hes a fag..hehe~AoD

On Wednesday February 9th, 2005, Six-Out (1798) writes:

Na, but I do burn fags. The smoke helps the cough.

On Thursday February 10th, 2005, The Crimson Queen (1221) writes:

your a fag..just admit it..

On Sunday February 13th, 2005, Six-Out (1798) writes:

I'm a cigarette? That makes no sense, silly goose.

On Wednesday February 9th, 2005, A Broken Soul (102) writes:

wow. i liked this a lot. the rhyming is good, and the content is amazing! the title bothers me as Lynaes said... ^Autumn^

On Wednesday February 9th, 2005, Six-Out (1798) writes:

aZn PrYdE

On Wednesday February 9th, 2005, Lynaes (1109) writes:

The title would be a lot more appealing in lower case letters. Just a suggestion.

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