I don’t know why I care so much about you
And I don’t understand why I can’t just walk away
Sometimes I try to tell myself that I don’t care
But the thought of losing you this way is hard to bare
I tell myself I’m being silly,
When will it ever be enough to me?
But all I can do is hurt when you let me go
And wish you somehow understood
Even when I can’t

I can’t find it in myself
To just tell you how I feel
And see what you do
Because just looking at you makes my heart hurt
And all I ever want to do is wrap my arms around you
But I don’t know why

I pour out my feelings because I have to
And wish I could do it to your face
Instead of hiding behind your back,
Instead of pretending that I can survive this way

I want to tell you that I am the ink on the paper;
The curves and lines that form words
Because I like to think that if,
Just this once….
You were to read like I read
You’d be reading me

Its all so much easier that way,
To justify my silence with an excuse
Its not my job to switch the medians
To read out these words in invisible ink to you

… I speak as if I know how I feel
And pretend I understand somehow,
Pretend I can just walk away with this disorganized weight on my shoulders
When what I should really be saying…
Is that there are so many things I want to say
But don’t,
For fear of losing you
And that I just hope its all for the right reasons

Because really, I don’t really know
Because really, I can’t really tell you anything
But that I want to know I can feel the comfort of your arms one more time
Or the softness of your lips
Because I think I’m in love with you,
Who I could never love

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