Good __morning __afternoon __evening (check applicable)
Today we will be discussing your application for __love __sex.
Your last name first and your first name last
Followed just below that line with your address.
Your phone number and social security number next please
Followed by a list of three personal references.
Resumes may be submitted every other Wednesday;
Providing that there have been no interviews the night before.
Should your application be considered for a position
You will receive a notification by __mail __phone at your request.
Interviews will proceed within 72 hours of return receipt
Providing that proper uniforms complete with "hats" are present.
There are multiple positions for which you could apply.
Please note that any positions not in the company handbook
Are also available, provided proper motivation is present
And you can make a convincing presentation.
Our company handbook is sold in many local bookstores,
You may find it listed under "Fully Illustrated Kama Sutra"
Interviews are conducted at our discretion.
Length of interview should be a minimum of four hours.
Please note that any candidates failing to meet or exceed the minimum
Will be dropped from the candidacy,
And your application will NOT remain on file.
In addition, the four-hour minimum is comprised of any of the following:
Dining, movies, a date, foreplay, bondage, food play,
"Kink", group sessions, and/or orgasm.
Please note is it the responsibility of the applicant to provide the orgasms.
Your application should be filled out in triplicate in blue or black ink.
If you need to reschedule your appointment due to any of the following:
Lack of vertical aptitude, lack of confidence, lack of proper uniform,
Lack of Tic-tacs, lack of funds, and/or girlfriend overpopulation,
Please see the receptionist on your way out
And she will refer you to our sister company.
Other qualifications should include:
Adequate living quarters and/or proper safety harnesses,
Highly developed intelligence, adequate stimulation tools,
And proper contingency plan for leakage and/or spillage.
Let me take this opportunity to thank you for applying with us.
In the fast paced world of __romance __sexuality
We are glad you have placed your confidence in us.
Our services have been tried and tested for years,
And we can assure you that they have achieved
A level of perfection that our competitors are still striving for.
Please enjoy our complimentary chocolates.

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