I Was Once Beautiful

I was once beautiful
Many years ago
When I had a smile on my face
And there was love in my heart
No matter what people said
I was able to believe in myself

I was once beautiful
But I’ve fallen below
Into the whole of depression
Now I drape myself in garments
Of dark vinyl, leather and velvet
Desperately grasping for any hope

I was once beautiful
With happiness leading my life
My eyes would sparkle with delight
When I breathed fresh, clean air
And I’d leave empty plates
Those many years ago

I was once beautiful
Before all of the black
Or so I’ve been told
That I’m too dark for my own good
My prettiness is buried in a grave
Along with all of my self respect

I was once beautiful
I retained unmarked or untainted skin
Almost pale enough to be porcelain
It was lighted with a glow
A beautiful doll’s reflection
A future model for the runway

I was once beautiful
But now I’m just skin and bones
A full, almost untouched plate I leave
Starvation, I’m not able to find strength to eat
I live in the shadows, a hideous monster
An hopes of utterly disappearing

I was once beautiful
before I picked up a knife
And sliced apart my skin
Scarring my body forever
Now I must hide my features
Behind a cloak and masks of black

I was once beautiful
But now I only see ugliness
Through my dull and dying eyes

I was once beautiful
But I’ve burnt my body
And I’ve sliced my skin

I was once beautiful
But now I hide in shadows
And I shun any spotlight

I was once beautiful
Before I took anger out on myself
Because now I can’t see clear, any longer

I was once beautiful
Before I destroyed my face
Stained from crying to many tears

I was once beautiful
My innocent times prove this
But my childhood was stolen from me

I was once beautiful
That many years ago
Now I wonder, what has happened?
What truly has changed me so?

More comments:

• On Wednesday, January 6, 2010, Wiccad (72) wrote:
  
  I get it, I was beautiful once. Sick what life can do to ones soul.
  
  
• A former member wrote: 'I was once beautiful, I retained unmarked or untainted skin , Almost pale enough to be porcelain, It was lighted with a glow' i love this. truely [beautiful] yet heartbreaking. you are beautiful my love, and so is your writing.
  
  
• On Wednesday, July 9, 2008, Circe Avalon (146) wrote:
  
  your a phoenix that can arise from ashes and shine glorious again. And although you've gone down the long road, it is still an adventure, and it is very beautiful to others no matter from whose perception it is gleaned. Your words are beautiful and well spoken. Powerful and descriptive.
  
  
• A former member wrote: This hits very close to home, only I, was never this beautiful. With you, it's like as you're saying "I was once beautiful" , we can all still see how very beautiful you truly are.
  
  
• A former member wrote: YOU ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL. Your soul is beyond discription, mere words cannot describe. if my dumbass know how to bookmark a profile, I'd bookmark this one. I love your works!!!
  
  
• On Thursday, January 18, 2007, MindRape (715) wrote:
  
  i never left a comment on this?!?!?! i coudl SWORN i did!!! I know i bookmarked it the moment I read it *licks you* I was once beautiful too
  
  
• On Sunday, September 17, 2006, Bluegirl (213) wrote:
  
  "I was once beautiful That many years ago Now I wonder, what has happened? What truly has changed me so" Nothing. You are still absolutely beautiful hun! And this work is just wonderful, too. Keep the ink flowing!
  
  
• A former member wrote: i picture the ninth line reading "hole" of depression. that's how I envision it. very, very beautiful. gina
  
  
• On Saturday, May 6, 2006, mywristshurt (449) wrote:
  
  this is in my favs forever.. you are the most beautiful writer, person and soul i think i will ever meet.. and this was extremely good
  
  
• On Tuesday, January 24, 2006, Guillotine (191) wrote:
  
  after reading this, i still believe you are beautiful....
  
  
• On Wednesday, January 11, 2006, xserratedsoulx (248) wrote:
  
  you probably changed yourself. it's so sad, the way things really work...i know, that's what happened for me, at least...i fell so far...but i was a well lighted decent, i thought destruction would make me beautiful... ~lauren~
  
  
• On Monday, January 9, 2006, AHHH (209) wrote:
  
  lovely.
  
  
• On Thursday, November 3, 2005, Liz (339) wrote:
  
  I really liked this poem, the repetions and descriptions make it strong. The last six stanzas started to be redundant, though. I don't think that repetition is as good as repeating the one line.
  
  
• On Thursday, November 3, 2005, Liz (339) wrote:
  
  Also, you list several clues as to what you were before you "changed." It makes me suspect that you know exactly what happend, and so I wonder why you ask, at the end. If you don't know, tell us more from these clips, and let us guess.
  
  
• On Thursday, November 3, 2005, Jonas (820) wrote:
  
  nod.
  
  
• A former member wrote: I wish I had words to describe, it's like my self reflection in words.. You are beautiful, I'll tell you that, and I love the poem
  
  
• A former member wrote: damn this hit hard. the over all feel of this is quite overwhelming. the pain and self disgust that you display here reminds me so much of myself in many ways. very well written. and btw...you are beautiful my dear :)
  
  
• On Thursday, July 14, 2005, thornyrose (25) wrote:
  
  outstanding and well written...it is a great piece...i liked it very much....
  
  
• A former member wrote: I absolutely love this poem. I fell the same way. I can honestly say that I feelo your pain
  
  
• On Thursday, May 12, 2005, Serenity (529) wrote:
  
  So many people can and do relate to this. And this could not have been said better. Wonderful job :)