I'm
dreaming
of a white
Christmas

With lots of special snow
Just for me
I got my own personal Christmas tree
With 23 ornaments all handmade
(bullshit, you didn't make that santa)

I'll be lost inside my head
While you sit in an overcrowded living room
Sipping on eggnog and Goldschlager
(what crackhead thought of that? just take it straight)

I can only laugh
While I watch you open your gifts
With their wrappings of artificial love
Just stick a bow on top like a stamp of approval
Trying to prove
These gifts were given with sincerity

I can only laugh
at my stocking full of coal
'Cause I've been dreaming of a white Christmas
with lots of special snow
for my nose

It makes all the lights
look just a little brighter
Makes the synthetic gingerbread house
taste just a little better

I've been dreaming of a white-
Snowed-in
Thirteen hour blizzard
Up to my *nose* in snow
-Christmas
To make this season
Just a little more fuckin Merry

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