DarkPoetry -|- call to arms -|- Makeshift Hearts

Makeshift Hearts

Another hot tempered
"Fuck you,
I can't do this anymore"
Followed by
An insincere
Apology
However empty
She always embraces
These two words
Because she needs
Something
To sustain her.

He leaves again
He leaves her there
To rip herself apart.
To let the dejective
Hopless thoughts
Gloomy
Heavy-heartedly
Sink in
Brain washing
Stripping everything
That's left.

She can't bear
To begin another day
Without him.
Even knowing
Tomorrow
He'll return
With flowers
And vindication
Yet vindictive.
He'll leave again
Too many drinks
She'll say the wrong thing
He'll go.

She's done.
She won't be here
Tomorrow
The flowers will die
This time she won't
Cherish every petal.

Tomorrow comes.
He walks through the door.
Daisies in one hand
A bottle of Vodka in the other.

She lies
Silently
Motionlessly
On the bedroom floor
Next to the bloodstain
From that time he
Just didn't like the way
She was looking at him.

A note that reads
"Fuck you
I can't do this anymore...

...I'm as sorry as you've ever been"

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Comments on Makeshift Hearts

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On Friday January 7th, 2005, The Crimson Queen (1231) writes:

beautifully done......~angel

On Saturday December 11th, 2004, An Expired Member (5) writes:

that's really good, this sounds like the story of my aunt whoah dude this really was just.......whoah

On Wednesday December 1st, 2004, SamoneDrone (404) writes:

i agree with valentine and twilight. it's astounding and there's defiantly somthing special about this. i think you did a great job at portraying the entire situation. your descriptions on everything were so well done and so appropriate. great job!

On Sunday November 21st, 2004, Twilight (2097) writes:

damn...at first i was thinking about how much this was like other things i have read. but i dont know..somewhere along the way this became some special. and the ending was perfectly priceless.

On Friday November 19th, 2004, call to arms (38) writes:

Thanks guys

On Thursday November 11th, 2004, BeautifulCalamity (583) writes:

--nicely done.. and i liked the title as well... -calamity

On Thursday November 11th, 2004, BeautifulCalamity (583) writes:

"The flowers will die This time she won't Cherish every petal".. this line cradled me but pushed me away at the same time, if that makes sense.. like the pain is too unbearable but your description is absolutely beautiful, this was a fine work. nicely

On Thursday November 11th, 2004, Stormcomin (43) writes:

Very nice work. I especially like the closing line.

On Thursday November 11th, 2004, Valentine (508) writes:

. . something distinguished and unique about this piece, also. A wonderful, yet tragic write ~ ~ ~ Rose

On Thursday November 11th, 2004, Valentine (508) writes:

"...I'm as sorry as you've ever been" - Wow__ what an astounding write. "He walks through the door. Daisies in one hand A bottle of Vodka in the other.". There's something about this write that's just really alluring . . it's strangely gratifying to read

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