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(my first attempt to rhyme so ya....go easy on me) ~danny~



You never saw my tears

Because you ran from my fears

Pretended like you cared

But you were scared

Stayed around for the fun

Then bad times came and you were done

I asked for light

You gave me night

When I was helpless and weak

That was your peak

Not once there catch me when I fell

You sent me to hell

I suffered the pain

And it was your gain

You seemed like a dove

I was in love













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If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Saturday July 1st, 2006, mywristshurt (525) writes:
freaky and yet so remourseful.. very nice to see you try to rhyme, and succeed.. as long as we can understand your feelings, its all good.. very good write


On Monday May 1st, 2006, Gold Dust Woman (186) writes:
this is good for being a first time rhyme. how bout You Ran Away for a title. i dont know if it is a good title but hey its a title


On Wednesday October 12th, 2005, GreekPhilosopher (181) writes:
Hmmm, Well Not A Bad Attempt But It Feels A Little Forced. GPhD.


On Thursday May 26th, 2005, Rain In The Willows (858) writes:
Hm...Love lost?


On Thursday May 26th, 2005, Saint_Reaper (288) writes:
first time for rhyme..... but indeed a good one, i like it... title, hmmm.... let me get back to you on a title


On Thursday May 26th, 2005, Markus Porkwing (714) writes:
ok ok I got one, how about *Chicken Bleep* and I haven't even read your poem. Yay!


On Thursday May 26th, 2005, Serenity (600) writes:
Oh I like. I'm not great with titles otherwise I'd help ya >.<



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