DarkPoetry -|- King_Crazy_Dave -|- eye liner

eye liner

I’d like to give you eye liner
Fist clenched and tensed like
Sarcastic scars caustic cast in mold
Then broken
I’d like to strip you skin first and
Watch your gears spin thin winding
Fragile, yet agile footfalls of youth
That walk, catwalk
the line of empty pocket or empty soul
guilt leaks through pores and the bags
under your eyes

under your eyes I’d like to show you
compassion
by the jaw, and slam you skull first into what you are not
so maybe it would stick

I don’t crumble around the edges
you’ll never brush my dust off your skin
I’d like to give you eye liner, darker than your own

With my hands.

Run that beaten path
I’ll be the monster
And the tree’s root you lose grace and trip on

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Comments on eye liner

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On Thursday July 19th, 2007, urbanhumility (1359) writes:

brilliant in your description.....brilliant

On Thursday July 19th, 2007, Err0r (567) writes:

Agressive reality. I like your word choices in here. The ending especially went well. So visually enticing just for the horrific thought of running from the truth. I like this.

On Wednesday August 24th, 2005, Liz (401) writes:

I like this one better than the next two. The suggestion is genuine, subtle but well developed... The quiet style intensifies the message, boils the message down to quiet rage, while your details are still dainty

On Wednesday August 24th, 2005, Liz (401) writes:

In your work there is rarely anything to look at, because you concentrate so much on thoughts, ideas, feelings... and so your writing is best when the details bring solid images to mind

On Thursday August 11th, 2005, Railway_Butterfly (464) writes:

'under your eyes i'd like to show you compassion by the jaw, and slam you skull first into what you are not so maybe it would stick' excellent. Well done :)

On Thursday August 11th, 2005, Railway_Butterfly (464) writes:

I miss reading stuff that makes me think like this. Theres something in the tone of this that reminds me of a song by 'from first to last' called Emily. It's like this rough, ragged kind of emotion that I find so heart wrenching and beautiful.. and rare..

On Friday August 5th, 2005, Possesion (191) writes:

I hate being speechless because it makes me feel useless. It's a good one though.

On Friday August 5th, 2005, Six-Out (1821) writes:

Hah. Fuck you Dave, this is too good, in that way that makes me feel almost guilty for liking it.

On Friday August 5th, 2005, TheBardOfBlasphemy (472) writes:

this is a king-hit to the eyeballs... no cold press is gonna make this bruise come out... i'm gob-smacked...

On Friday August 5th, 2005, NikesRain (1420) writes:

*speechless*

On Friday August 5th, 2005, elisa (2013) writes:

a good punch in the face - the great equalizer.....a well grounded write.......'you’ll never brush my dust off your skin' great line.....some people would cleane the dirt from the world...

On Friday August 5th, 2005, Lydia Jade (789) writes:

if you where going to keep it up i would fav it, its got alot of emotion, very good write

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