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"black eyed susans" by King_Crazy_Dave

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Knives show the unexposed
like black eyed Susans evoke
Twist faced wives
My pulled back skin
Looks like a puzzle
Piece
Is missing, disjointed like broken bones
Poke through
I壇 love to listen
Your voice, is background noise
I知 turned off.


Smelling smoke coke and cheap cologne
In a dollar store nightmare
I値l just go out
And go out quiet
But every step creaks
And breath is a cough
Gasp, wheeze out my will
And dissect my life out to my loved
If I had a key to this door
I壇 lock you out
but I値l run like the weak

I知 done feeling shame,
anyway

I値l show up some day.
Some cloudy day,
Unexposed.
Unfixed, dirt under the rug.




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On Sunday May 29th, 2005, glasshouse (801) writes:
"And breath is a cough Gasp, wheeze out my will And dissect my life out to my loved " i loved this. this was a naked piece and it was well worth exposure. nicely done. -Jezz


On Thursday May 26th, 2005, Liz (406) writes:
I don't know whether to criticize or congratulate you for leaving me with the impression I'll never fully appreciate what this poem is about.


On Thursday May 26th, 2005, Liz (406) writes:
I am sure, however, that you're a quasi-genius when it comes to word choice and forcing readers to see something differently.


On Monday May 23rd, 2005, SamoneDrone (407) writes:
"If I had a key to this door I壇 lock you out but I値l run like the weak" I particularly loved the last stanza. this poem is a little piece of brilliance. ....-samone


On Monday May 23rd, 2005, Dommi (123) writes:
your anguish tastes like smooth liquor


On Monday May 23rd, 2005, Rachel (393) writes:
Stone bunnies, right?


On Sunday May 22nd, 2005, Six-Out (1822) writes:
mmm. It tastes like despair, but in a delicate way. You don't post often, but when you do...god damn.


On Sunday May 22nd, 2005, Rain In The Willows (853) writes:
wonderful...Your talent is amazing...


On Sunday May 22nd, 2005, indefined (713) writes:
i liked the tone of this, felt gritty.


On Saturday May 21st, 2005, Alec Pure (334) writes:
wow this was great i loved the wording and the pace of the poem seemed perfect if that makes much sence....



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/748/62944 on Tuesday October 14th, 2008 05:24 AM

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