I heat up at the thought, This pain and bleeding anger,
Has me caught up in the movement of hating you and staying stagnant.
Breathing in and holding the air so close, It begins to burn away the life
That I wanted you to have.
And in my mind my hands hold you dead.
This useless rage and blinding hurt
Twists my heart into dust.
And I am left thinking of blackening your face in the dirt
Tying you into the shadows and forgetting your laughter.

“Quiet!!”

These morose images keep screaming there way into my head.
And I yell and try to shake them out.
They stay like little pinpricks on my fingertips drawing blood.
The phantom pains of yesterdays heat
The remembered tears of last years aches
And all that useless nonsense that you kept spewing,
Is stuck in my ears, it makes them ring,
And makes me sick.

Sometimes I think that it would be grand if I were bigger than you this time
And the fractured bones and swollen body parts were not mine to hold.
I want it all to go back to you.
A bat to your knees and a dull knife to you chest.
Nothing fatal but all the more painful.
If perhaps the laughter that you do eject, got caught instead
Like too much bubble gum in your throat, quite the choke.

And when the police would show their faces and pay attention,
Not turning a blind eye, this time asking the crime,
All I could say is “ He did it to himself.”


Dedicated to the disgust and anger I feel for my step father.

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