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"One Handed Typing" by AbjectColloquialist

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His chest heaved,
Sweat did drip,
All of his dreams splay before him
Just the right this, and plenty of that
She was waiting and wanting, in heat like a cat
He told her, roll over
He like it like that
He like it like that
...He like it like that
Soon it was over, the end of the scene
Does love only last for minutes on a screen?



note: This is a fragment of another poem I have posted, each fragment didnt have much to do with the others so it wasnt well recieved, so I split it for easy digestion.



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On Sunday January 9th, 2005, DarkWolf (442) writes:
This is good, but "He like it like that" sounds like really bad broken english.. He like(s) or like(d), would work better I think.. -Michael


On Sunday January 9th, 2005, Alacer_Cogitatus (193) writes:
true, but the way it is used here gives the poem a little more meaning than proper english would. A_C


On Sunday January 9th, 2005, Alacer_Cogitatus (193) writes:
btw, great poem. A_C



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/7130/54284 on Sunday November 23rd, 2008 05:05 AM

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