To you whom ever you are. Hi my name is Bryana. I am a stupid 18-year-old girl. I bet you don’t know me. I bet I can tell you a million things you would have never expected. Know that my past is not perfect. I have messed up yet I have no regrets. Every mistake is a lesson to me. I cheated once, on someone I loved, I cant make excuses I did it! I bet you don’t know why. Well I have no secrets, I kissed another to find out what love truly was. I figured it out. I bet you didn’t know that I am the most jealous person you will ever come to meet. I get jealous over those I do not know even. I am selfish I want a perfect life. I also have no trust. The reason for that being every man in my life has cheated on me someway or another. I stole once when I was little, a present for my mom, guilt ate away at me and a few weeks later I slid more then enough money under the door along with a note apologizing for my stupidity. I bet you didn’t know when I was just a little girl my cousin tried to rape me. I was able to push him off. I bet you never knew I didn’t tell a soul, because I didn’t want the guilt of ruining a family. I bet you never knew of a child all alone listening to a fight over who got to keep her as her parents had another drunken fight. I bet you never knew of a little girl who came home to an empty house, and made herself dinner while her parents sat at the bar. I bet you didn’t know of a girl trapped in depression almost failing classes. I bet you didn’t know that she took a knife and cut her self. I used to know the pain; I used to yearn for the pain. I loved the sight of blood dripping down my ankles. I bet you didn’t know that’s where I cut myself, so I could hide my shame. I bet you didn’t know I used to steel laxatives then starve myself and watch the weight melt away. I bet you never knew of a finger down my throat as I flushed my dreams away. I never told a soul. I bet you never knew I tried drugs hoping it would take away my ills. I bet you never knew I had a drunken summer. I bet you never knew one night that summer I was sitting on the lap of a boy with 7 drunken people, when the car rolled and I went through the window. I bet you never knew I didn’t tell a soul I bet you never knew a friend raped me. I bet you never knew I blame myself. I bet you never knew I am a workaholic. I work because I have no friends, and I do not like to be alone. I bet you never knew any of that…I had to tell someone…

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