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"one more..one last..suicide poem..." by alone

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THAY ALWAYS HAD TOLD HIM,
TO LOOK THEY WAY THEY DID,
THEY ALWAYS HAD TOLD HIM,
TO BE THE PERFECT KID,
THEY ALWAYS HAD TOLD HIM,
NOT TO CUT HIS HAIR LIKE THAT,
THEY ALWAYS HAD TOLD HIM,
HE WAS BAD TO LOOK AT,
THEY ALWAYS HAD TOLD HIM,
TO HAVE THE PERFECT LIFE,
THEY ALWAYS HAD TOLD HIM,
TO FIND A PERFECT WIFE,
THEY ALWAYS HAD TOLD HIM,
TO WEAR SOME DIFFERENT CLOTHES,
THEY ALWAYS HAD TOLD HIM,
THAT ONLY THEY DID KNOW,
THEY ALWAYS HAD TOLD HIM,
TO DO SO WELL IN SCHOOL,
THEY ALWAYS HAD TOLD HIM,
NOT TO BE SUCH A FOOL,
THEY ALWAYS HAD TOLD HIM,
GO TO SCHOOL AND GET A JOB,
THEY ALWAYS HAD TOLD HIM,
AND NOT TO BE A SLOB,
THEY ALWAYS HAD TOLD HIM,
BUT WHEN THEY FOUND HIM DEAD,
THEY ALWAYS HAD TOLD HIM,
EXSACTLY WHAT THE NOTE SAID,
"NOW I CAN BE LIKE YOU,
CUT MY HAIR THE WAY YOU LIKE,
PUT ME IN MY COFFIN,
LET ME WEAR THE CLOTHES SO WERE ALIKE,
FINALLY BE PROUD,
NOT AFRAID OF ME",
YET THEY ALWAYS HAD TOLD HIM,
TO LOVE HIS FAMILY....
 
THEY ALWAYS HAD TOLD HIM,
YET THEY WERE ALWAYS WRONG,
BECAUSE WHEN YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE ALONE,
YOU CAN ONLY BE SO STRONG...



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If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Wednesday March 9th, 2005, SluG (56) writes:
I loved the last stanza, it has many different levels of meaning, and that is exactly what appeals to the senses -S.


On Sunday January 23rd, 2005, stormtalk (909) writes:
This was painful to read on a couple of different levels. Judging by your title, I think you know everyone's sick of suicide poetry... and SS is right about the all-capitals - they took away more than they added.


On Sunday January 23rd, 2005, SilentStalker (1324) writes:
...this write itself is powerful enough...the caps just made my eyes hurt...I'm pretty confident that it would shine a bit better than it already does without CapsLock pressed down...


On Sunday January 23rd, 2005, Butterfly (122) writes:
"Because when tiy kive your life alone, you can only be so strong..." Very powerful. But on a whole, the piece needs some work. it's quite redundant and it doesn't really flow all that nice. it has the potential to be great though.


On Sunday January 23rd, 2005, anth (1611) writes:
the ending is quite poewerful, and really well written



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/708/55349 on Sunday September 07th, 2008 06:40 AM

Certain elements © 1996-2008 Matthew Steven (matts.org)