DarkPoetry -|- GirlintheBox -|- Whenever I am Gone

Whenever I am Gone

* I found this song I wrote at the same time I found "You Say". I wrote the two within days of each other, so this one isn't that great as well, but once again I find it interesting how my style has changed in the past five or six years. Enjoy! *

Verse 1
You think I'm alive but I'm not really here.
You think I am happy, but what do you know?
You think I'm listening but I don't really hear.
You think I should leave, but there's nowhere to go.

You think I'm special, but you don't know my name.
You think I am naive, but it's just a disguise.
You think I'm in love, but I'm just playing the game.
You think I am simple, but have you looked me in the eyes?

Chorus
You think I'll succeed if I try a little harder.
It's too bad you don't know what's really going on.
Did you ever think I might not want to go farther?
I'll bet you won't give me a second thought
Whenever I am gone.

Verse 2
You think I can cry but no tears will come.
You think I can't feel when my emotions don't show.
You think my life's just starting, but I feel like it's done.
You think you are helping, but I just want you to go.

Bridge
You think I'm self-absorbed, but really I care.
You think I am rational, but I'm not always sane.
You think I'm selfish but I'm willing to share.
You think my life is sunny, do you not see all this rain?

Chorus

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Comments on Whenever I am Gone

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On Wednesday August 11th, 2004, Lifeless (59) writes:

Hey, you have a poem with a bunch of "You think"-s, I have a poem with a bunch of "I'm not"-s. cool. *Lifeless*

On Wednesday August 11th, 2004, Lifeless (59) writes:

;-)

On Monday August 9th, 2004, Railway_Butterfly (446) writes:

I agree with Justin here,It is perhaps a little repatative...though,considering your age at the time,I think this is quite well written...I love how you've evolved from this though...you've come on loads,In my opinion...Butterfly..xxx...

On Monday August 9th, 2004, stormtalk (881) writes:

The "do you not" in the last line needs smoothing - maybe "can't" or "don't"? As for the rest of it... I think it's about as good as it will be. Not my favorite style, but well-written for what it is.

On Monday August 9th, 2004, Rebirth (81) writes:

ok so you want honesty. I think it's too repetitave, but the theme behind the lyrics is great, no better songs than the ones that stick it to someone else. I think maybe you could tweek it a little so not every line starts with "You think"

On Monday August 9th, 2004, GirlintheBox (50) writes:

i did the "i think" theme on purpose...to emphasize the chorus since it doesnt do that, but then again, i was 12 or 13, and had never written b4, so what did i know? if u have any ideas on how to "tweek" it id be happy to listen

On Monday August 9th, 2004, indefined (679) writes:

brutally honest, poignantly sad and searchingly longing for...something. this would make a decent song indeed box girl.

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