"The Outsider" by Soulseeker
| Six-Out |
| stormtalk |
| Anth |
| Angel With The Scabbed Wings |
| MEATGRINDER MAN |
| A bit on the possessive side |
| These Tears (Bittersweet Time) |
| A True Heart Break |
| The PoeT's giFt/The PoEt's CurSe |
| The Struggle For Sincerity |
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I am hanging on your words.
I am soaking them in. You call out flaws. You point fingers, still, I am soaking it in. You live to drench my life in a cloak of anger, but I see through your intentions. I will not fall. You will never recieve that gratification. There will be no tears here. I do not care that I am different. I do not care that I stay home on Fridays to read. I do not care that I make my bed every morning. I just do not give a fuck about "fitting in." I have better things to consume my time. I choose to be this way and I alone can choose to change. You are simply confused. I am simply enlightened. I will shed my wisdom, maybe then you can escape. I would rather be the outsider who is looking in, than the insider who can't get out. What consumes your brain besides Who's doing what, or the "crazy party" on Friday I will predicatably miss, or the new drug of choice that will kill the rest of your brain cells? You will never be in the outsider's vicinity, you will never experience beauty. Why the hell do you waste your time? I am the enlightened outsider You are the conformed insider. Who holds power here? Copyright 2004 Soulseeker
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On Wednesday December 26th, 2007, italianbella (281) writes:
breathtakingly beautiful write you are a amazing writer thank you so much for sharing:)
On Thursday October 21st, 2004, Mr King (623) writes:
I was once an outsider, but now find myself as becoming one with everyone... the ultimate form of insider... wondering where you went... seeking those with soul I suppose... 1, Seth
On Friday August 20th, 2004, Mr King (623) writes:
powerful and beautiful... i like the space of which you occupy as "enlightened outsider"... i can relate to this piece... 1LOVE, Seth
On Tuesday August 17th, 2004, sixsixnine (565) writes:
I would rather be the outsider
who is looking in,
than the insider
who can't get out. is my favorite verse.. thanx for sharring *669*
On Monday August 16th, 2004, MEATGRINDER MAN (510) writes:
Who holds power here? YOU DO. The universe begins with (and ends with) you. Your mind, & heart & soul is all you've got. Use 'em well, or lose 'em all.
On Saturday August 14th, 2004, DarkWolf (447) writes:
I can get inside (or rather outside) this one. Very well done. I really understand this thought and feeling. Thank you for sharing it. -Michael
On Saturday August 14th, 2004, Northstar (454) writes:
I remember a time when I could really relate to this piece--nicely done
On Friday August 13th, 2004, braindeadpoet (127) writes:
I like the way you think. Don't ever change for anyone---jer
On Friday August 13th, 2004, purr_verse (1435) writes:
"I do not care that I stay home on Fridays to read." - i smiled a lot at this line. enjoyed this write very much; the opening is also very strong and immediately pulled me in. :) damn fine.
On Friday August 13th, 2004, capt_funguy (993) writes:
congratulations ! ... you've just undergone a creativity audit by the bureau of self importance ... anyway ,,,, dig the defiance throughout this very cool piece of work ... funguy
On Friday August 13th, 2004, stormtalk (908) writes:
She requested my comments, goblinfucker. But wait, you're right - why would anyone want to help someone else write better, except to make themselves feel important? God, I'm so fucking selfish. I sure wish someone like you would teach me otherwise.
On Saturday August 14th, 2004, capt_funguy (993) writes:
ok chuckles ...i'll learn you something .. limp wristed sarcasm , and strategic sincerity will get you beaten up in the subway , and laughed at afterwards ... i wouldve expected you to know that already ...lol ... goblinfucker
On Saturday August 14th, 2004, stormtalk (908) writes:
A lot of things will get you beaten up in the subway that shouldn't. I don't see what the fuck that has to do with commenting on someone's poem. Care to explain? Or are you just dodging the fact that I made you look like the total assfuck you are?
On Saturday August 14th, 2004, capt_funguy (993) writes:
care to explain? ... sure ... i am saying that the nine guys who kicked your ass in that subway situation ( as you described in ... rage , the fire inside ) were probabably poets who saw through you , and beat you down for crimes against sincerity ...
On Monday August 16th, 2004, stormtalk (908) writes:
I would call you a retard, but I would be offending retards. Gee, you're right, telling my friend she has a sexy body and blowing kisses to my girlfriend is truly poetic. If you were here, I would kick you in the ribs just for being such a stupid cock.
On Saturday August 14th, 2004, capt_funguy (993) writes:
and somehow , despite their efforts , you still haven't learned anything .... i'm trying to help you man .... assfuck
On Friday August 13th, 2004, stormtalk (908) writes:
Okay, time for lots of comments, so I'll refer to lines by number :) 1-5: nice rhythm, it sounds almost musical. 6-7: I would replace "drench" with a verb to match a cloak better, but you did a good job of re-wording the lines to make them work together.
On Friday August 13th, 2004, stormtalk (908) writes:
8-10: Rock on with not giving the bastards the gratification of tears. Tears are interesting... there's such conflicted symbolism in them. Anyway... 11-13: Fridays, not Fridays. Also, I think you do care - you just don't think it's bad! And I love that.
On Friday August 13th, 2004, stormtalk (908) writes:
14-16: I like how "choose to change" sounds - it has a nice ring to it. For these three lines, I think you could find more unique ways to say them. It's talented of you to describe ways that many people feel and don't always verbalize -
On Friday August 13th, 2004, stormtalk (908) writes:
but if you can combine that with a unique way of phrasing it, you'll make the rest of DP jealous from all the books you'll be selling. 17-18: Simpleless rocks my socks. 19-20: Confused me a bit. 21-25: Fucking awesome. Incredible work on these lines.
On Friday August 13th, 2004, stormtalk (908) writes:
26-30: My guess is not much, unfortunately. Some people grow up; others don't... hopefully, more of these poor fools will grow up than not. 31-32: I know exactly how you feel... but be careful with your words here:
On Friday August 13th, 2004, stormtalk (908) writes:
So... now that I wrote you a page of comments... all I have left to say is, good work!
On Friday August 13th, 2004, stormtalk (908) writes:
Overall - good work, and huge improvement from the last I read (not that that wasn't a good poem as well). Your ideas are just as great as they've always been, but your structure and your processing of your thoughts are both improving visibly.
On Friday August 13th, 2004, stormtalk (908) writes:
36: This line is interesting. Where does power come from? Are you truly concerned with holding the power, are you proud of it, are you worried that maybe you don't, in fact, hold the power? Or that you're missing out on something?
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