i sit and wonder at each drop
lashing itself again the pane
as if each one is punishing itself
attempting to destroy itself
as it crashes against the glass
never reaching the roses or the irises below

they're not the usual heavy
sanguine tears of sky
falling with that almost lackadaisical slide
drunk with spring dreaming
like the usual rains of the season

those fat little jewels falling
to dollop upon the window
almost giggling as they join
one upon another
in a heap of renewing euphoria
knowing their energy is giving life

instead these grey diamonds fall hard
streaking in slashes
as if they're trying to cut their faith
across the glass in a last attempt
some naive hope at eternity
to make a mark to say i was .something.

watching their ardent attempts
my own rain falls in slow seeping sadness
finding a familiar ache in a needling doubt
what if after all is said and done
i will have fed nothing given naught
and evaporated invisible
without ever touching
any.thing

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