DarkPoetry -|- gspot -|- The Top 5 reasons to commit suicide

The Top 5 reasons to commit suicide

5) If you own a beetle or listen to the beatles
4) If you own more Barry Manilow albums than your mother
3) If your girlfreind gets more pussy than you do
2) If you get your ass kicked by a Nirvana fan.
1) If you ever get fired from McDonalds: You are fucking hopless. END YOUR LIFE.

Copying this work to another webpage without author permission is plagiarism.
Plagiarism is a misdemeanor, usually punishable by fines of $100-$50000 and up to one year in jail.

Comments on The Top 5 reasons to commit suicide

If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Wednesday December 12th, 2007, Ainsof (1864) writes:

"kill yourself! kill yourself! Don't rely on no one else! kill yourself now!" SOD. Weakness of spirit is a contagion afflicting the world where the strong willed are trying to make their lives worth living... *and I wonder if this writer is still breathing*

On Wednesday December 12th, 2007, Alanarchy (1695) writes:

Okay, so I got five... ummm Three. Does Wal-mart count for one? Probably not. But either way, I was gonna quit like, the next day. I won't kill myself though. Lennon told me not to.

On Tuesday January 3rd, 2006, dismal silence (20) writes:

i know a few people who should kill their selves then cause i love Nirvana and i held a dagger to a guys throat before haha.... i got fired from subway :/

On Sunday April 10th, 2005, so_skeevy (76) writes:

i like the beatles and i got fired from Dairy Queen hahaha....sigh.

On Wednesday March 16th, 2005, The Crimson Queen (1221) writes:

everything on the list i agree with except #2 becuz i love Nirvana..so fuck you

On Thursday March 17th, 2005, gspot (48) writes:

Thats funny. Love nirvana all you want. I did not say they suck. I was merely pointing out that people who wear their shirts are not known for thier masculine buff-ness.. Thats all... Fuck Me

On Wednesday April 20th, 2005, The Crimson Queen (1221) writes:

ok, ok, ok..then not fuck you :)

On Wednesday March 16th, 2005, ElegantKiss (399) writes:

haha, you're so great.

On Wednesday March 16th, 2005, Saint_Reaper (284) writes:

funny.....but suicide is way over rated

On Thursday February 17th, 2005, BleedSilver (372) writes:

lmfao...This is hilarious.

On Thursday February 17th, 2005, Green-eyed Raven (69) writes:

one of my ex's was fired from McDonalds, and I agree with you, he should just end his life... hehe. *Raven*

On Monday November 15th, 2004, Savannah (285) writes:

I have to say, I totally agree. LOL Too funny

On Monday November 15th, 2004, Savannah (285) writes:

I did used to be a huge Kurt Cobain fan though...hmmm

On Sunday November 14th, 2004, K_Love (684) writes:

hahahaha

On Friday November 12th, 2004, urbanhumility (1374) writes:

Brilliant.............lol..........urban

On Friday November 12th, 2004, BeautifulCalamity (575) writes:

murdered !!! ..hah.. i love cobain :| ;)

On Friday November 12th, 2004, BeautifulCalamity (575) writes:

nirvana is awesome, the beatles are ok.. beetles are ugly.. i dont have a girlfriend.. i dont listen to barry manilow.. and i am currently employed by mcdonalds.. so hopefully, i dont get fired.. or else.. i'll die.. and yes.. cobain had to have been murd

On Friday November 12th, 2004, Rone4611 (156) writes:

...*tear* whats wrong with the beatles... HEYY JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!!!!

On Wednesday October 13th, 2004, An Expired Member (55) writes:

long live kurt cobain!!! (if that makes any sense at all...)

On Wednesday October 13th, 2004, An Expired Member (55) writes:

haha! 'cause if you get fired from mdonalds youre a worthless fool and dont have a future! :D great stuff... funny too!

On Wednesday September 1st, 2004, An Expired Member (25) writes:

LMAO!!! what a great moment in life to read that list. good job -namelez

On Tuesday August 3rd, 2004, Rain In The Willows (821) writes:

lol, I'll take no offense to the nirvana, but they still rule...eh, I feels sorry for anyone #3 hits home for, that and #2 kya

On Tuesday August 3rd, 2004, DarkWolf (441) writes:

lol nice list - Michael

On Tuesday June 29th, 2004, murder_in_clubland (497) writes:

w00t.~ss

On Saturday May 29th, 2004, Twilight (2084) writes:

this is priceless. and different...which is what im loving about it.

On Monday April 12th, 2004, lollipoplips (108) writes:

laugh my mother-fucking ass off! funny shit,

On Sunday January 25th, 2004, LovedByAMiracle (54) writes:

i didnt like number one. i am a huge beatles fan. but also a nirvana fan so im not sure weather to be offended or not

On Wednesday December 17th, 2003, An Expired Member (6) writes:

Lol! i pity the victims of # 3....

On Tuesday September 30th, 2003, AlluringDescent_darkbride (763) writes:

Hey...some of the beatles songs were cool. So *sticks out tongue* to you! :)

On Sunday September 28th, 2003, An Expired Member (3) writes:

HAHAHAHAHA lovin it..........

On Tuesday August 19th, 2003, Deliverence (797) writes:

Holy shyt this ones priceless. The 2&3 ones are funny as hell.-Kefka

On Sunday July 27th, 2003, pessum ire animus (73) writes:

um.... does it count if mcdonalds wont even hire you?

On Tuesday August 19th, 2003, Christopher7xii (36) writes:

McDonald's turned me down on two seperate occasions, one of which was the night after I was told by the manager they just lost 2 people... *shniffles*

On Monday July 28th, 2003, gspot (48) writes:

I'm not sure... I never thought about that. I will have to say 'no.' If McDonalds will not hire you it is probably a GOOD sign.

On Saturday June 21st, 2003, Ophelia (305) writes:

Can something be funny and sad at the same time. If it can then this it is.

On Saturday June 21st, 2003, diavolessa (275) writes:

yeah, I wanna get a beetle! but yeah number one was awesome & hilarious! ~D

On Saturday June 21st, 2003, Six-Out (1798) writes:

HAHAHA. Number one is awesome, and sadly, true. I love this!

On Saturday June 21st, 2003, adreamnotwanted (40) writes:

well i don't know about the list.. but i like the pic on your profile.. ADNW

On Tuesday January 21st, 2003, An Expired Member (52) writes:

Lmao.......Nirvana rocks...But these are funny..,..

On Tuesday January 21st, 2003, Aurora_Light (575) writes:

hmmm... 1 is funny, whats wrong w/ Nirvana?

On Saturday July 5th, 2003, gspot (48) writes:

nothing wrong with nirvana but everyone i have ever seen in a nirvana shirt was about 90 lbs. Definately dont wanna get your ass kicked by them

On Sunday July 20th, 2003, Rebel_Angel (401) writes:

haha that is funny. :) gspot that is so true.

On Sunday July 6th, 2003, ColdScaredAlone (121) writes:

i've never seen a VIOLANT nirvana fan, lol

On Friday July 18th, 2003, gspot (48) writes:

No not violent that I can think of, just brooding and depressed mostly. OH YEAH! and absolutely convinced Cobain was murdered.

On Tuesday November 30th, 2004, Rain In The Willows (821) writes:

*is a violent Nirvana fan*

On Saturday November 27th, 2004, Necromancer (85) writes:

Cobain was murdered. ::plots to kill courtney love::

Navigation for Text Browsers
Things to Read Home Copyright Policy Bugs

Owned and operated by GeniusWeb.com LLC

© 1996-2008 Matthew Steven
You must agree to our terms of service in order to to access this site

Need help? Reach us on the poetry site resource page.

Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/609/14284 on Friday December 05th, 2008 11:52 AM

Certain elements © 1996-2008 Matthew Steven (matts.org)