Gravity rules over my body.
My head hits a hard surface with heavy impact.
Thoughts and responsibilities
Struggle to remain
In the spotlight of my mind.
It is a bright light created by flickering candles
Nearing extinguishment.
It shall be put out by hurricanes
That were once tropical storms
That were once zephyrs
That were once spring breezes
That were once puffs of wind
From a little girl’s lips
As she whistles the theme to “M*A*S*H”.

I am stuck between the rock of cold-hearted authority
An the hard place of an unsympathetic environment.
A rope used to suspend me above
The nadir of nothing
Is merely a thread.
It unravels as quickly as my sanity.
There are no safety nets
To cushion my fall into unconsciousness.
Visions of a tranquil life are heresy.
Punishment for the crime is brutality.
I have been stabbed,
Beaten,
Shot,
Whipped,
Burned,
Choked,
Shocked,
Impaled,
Bludgeoned,
Dismembered…
All to murder all dreams of levity.

This retribution supplements the welts
I inflict upon myself.
Mannerisms of a paramecium
With an overactive flagellum
Replace my actions.
I am the walking and talking personification of pain.
I am a burned-out soul whose purpose is to serve
As the means to the ends of all mankind.
Utilitarianism is the general anesthesia
Most effective in euthanizing my spirit.
Still,
I struggle to remain vertical
I try my damnedest to remain upright
In my posture and my morals.
The negative energy filling my atmosphere
Dissolves the oxygen I inhale
And mutates the carbon dioxide I exhale.

The result shall be a massive combustion.
The serotonin-filled smoke shall fill the air
As a ring of fire spreads
From the epicenter of my carcass
And wipes out all who have driven me
To this state of mania.
The ones who made me a victim of their terror
Shall feel the wrath of my karmic jihad.

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