It came as a shock
Watching the love of my life
Slip into a permanent state of unconsciousness
And taking our offspring with her.
If only I could have been
A spider in the corner
Of a plastered wall
In the emergency room
Where they both passed away.
Right now,
I feel like Job,
Almost as if my will to live
Is being tested.
I remember it like it was yesterday,
When I learned that we'd be caring for another life.
This joy I experienced sustained my serotonin for weeks.
For months I watched
As our creation developed
In her womb.
Ultrasounds created an ultra sound mind and heart.
But then,
Over a course of six months,
It all went downhill.
We were evicted from our apartment
And I was downsized from my job.
The stress became too much for my wife.
She was rushed to the hospital
Clutching her chest.
The widowmaking condition of pre-eclampsia
Sifted through her organs.
The doctors tried to induce labor,
But it was too late.
Now I sit here
Left on my knees,
Praying that one day,
I will get over this trauma,
Hoping this void in my heart will be filled
With the joy that either God or Satan stripped from me.
Until then,
I am left as a mess,
Sitting in this hospital
Wondering how I'm going to pay
To bury everything I had to live for.

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