I have the quiet nonchalance of the sky
It isn’t a lack of concern
It is the beauty of bridges
How I am drawn to them
And the beauty of the rivers
How I am sketched in them
A rippling face of despair
Peaceful in its despair
Like a bauble on a tree that has burnt
A childs face reflected
not needing gifts, just quietness
in a house where things are shattering


How when starlings make patterns in the sky
Swirling together like bows attached to a kite
As if the sky was being stirred in its porcelain
My eyes follow them, travelling in their shapes
My soul affixed to their synchronized sky dances


For a while, I am not on the bridge
The starlings in the river have disappeared
The woman I talked out of jumping has
No interest in me, she has gone
I didn’t want crowds to gather
I didn’t want my stillness affected


I told her I didn’t much care
And that I would join her
We would hold hands
And no one would know
How much of a mess we had
Made of our lives
Just what we had done in that moment
Forgotten tomorrow
away from the crowds holding sparklers
When people come to look at
new years fireworks in the absence of birds
glittering and falling in the river

I told her the bridge and I
Will be here again tomorrow
But I only kept half my promise.












I knew that the bridge was being demolished
I had come here some days
The walls was wide enough to sit on
And the river went downhill seeming
To disappear at the end
And that’s where I would start to imagine


The new bridge is metallic
It has talons
A japense design
It is for vehicles only
But the sun reflects on its steel
before it gets to the edge of the river
And birds gather on the wires
And the river seems much cleaner now
You can almost see
All the engagement rings
Photographs and keys
snug in the river silt
As if they belonged there
And you didn’t

Not there
And nowhere
Else
Not with the birds swirling like water globe flakes
Not on the new bridge
In the bursts of people gathered around firework displays
and at your poetry readings
Or her in the crowd
Who you had saved but she will attest
She was the one who saved you

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