DarkPoetry -|- Jonas -|- unconfidence

unconfidence

i am your microbial lover
the touch of a feather
on skittish skin
and she's looking
a bit lazy
languid
fluttering come hither eyes
like dandelion wind
shaken by the pose
by the smell of roses and pale skin
***
susurrus of a misogynist
disconsolate opiate
blazes briefly through my skin
***
i am one or another
just a lingering stain
on your linen spread
still i think i might speak easy
make her think i'm something else
and spread her with a cool hand
force-feed her my filth
bedroom eyes don't mean much
on your hands and knees
just like you don't mean that much to me

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Comments on unconfidence

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On Monday August 18th, 2003, Deliverence (799) writes:

I couldn't give you a comment like T/S here, but i will go onto say that i'm always amazed with how you write sentences and come up with the words for them..Dandilion wind?.Your are indeed a true poet.-Kefka

On Wednesday May 28th, 2003, An Expired Member (13) writes:

One well written work! Shame you spare so much...

On Tuesday April 22nd, 2003, Stranger (281) writes:

Other than the fact I had to look up the word "susurrus" I loved it. There was certain stillness about the whole thing. As if things changed, but nothing moved. Like someone's interpretation of painting changing your feeling about it.

On Monday April 21st, 2003, urbanhumility (1366) writes:

how sweet things can be with integrity,how bitter without, declarations of what are, and what truth is really... an honest memory;poem. well said,well written...uh

On Monday April 21st, 2003, TropicalSnowstorm (749) writes:

Good piece! Love the contradicting emotions you're conveying - "fluttering come hither eyes like dandelion wind" and "still i think i might speak easy make her think i'm something else". I actually think you are done, myself

On Monday April 21st, 2003, TropicalSnowstorm (749) writes:

you are contrasting soft, sweet imagry with a cold, calculating "filth" and sense of unworthiness. I think the dreamy language for her and the elevated

On Monday April 21st, 2003, TropicalSnowstorm (749) writes:

language and crass expressions used for your inner thoughts in response to this sweetness works to create a quite effective piece. Sort of a "beauty that can be had" meets "scumbag that WILL have her by any means necessary." Ciao, T/S

On Saturday April 19th, 2003, liquid_emotion (417) writes:

ouch! What did you do to feel like this?! I need a dictionary.

On Friday April 18th, 2003, Dommi_of_Baphomet (112) writes:

i really like it.. i like how things are depicted and shtuff.. fishtacular.. ;) <3Dommi

On Friday April 18th, 2003, Jonas (874) writes:

here's the deal with this piece; it could be so much better! it wasn't done but i was getting impatient and decided to post it. critique really would help on this one, people.

On Friday April 18th, 2003, Bast (896) writes:

wow... i get a mixture of turned on and then mad at myself for being turned on... i love it.

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