i wake up to kick the mice out of the grain
jeremey's couging up a fit
and no one's touched the urine stains
from the dogs that have become
symbols of themselves

in my dreams i'm always running and intimating to violence but never consumating
and i am defenseless as i whittle my teeth away while my bodyfeels the reality of the grinding
my dreams make up convenient reasons to explain the discomfort in the their world
i am finding no way out of this hole and until now
i didn't even know i was holding a shovel and i guess i'm in trouble but i'm not sure because i can't say i've ever been anywhere else

and i hate this cigarette

and i hate this caffeinated twitch

and i hate all that's in my head i hate what's happened to me as my eyes peel back like an addicts baby getting a dose from a doctor who forgot to feel like crying about these situations i'm slowly forgetting that you can't hide forever

and as i slip away the machine groans its way to
life
gears turning
and my organics copitulate for reasons of some long gone necessity
but my heart whispers to the ear of my spirit
words yearning for change



1/06

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