It was always winter inside your heart.
&. I could never understand why the red threads were so cold.
I used to outline them with glitter.
Thinking maybe being too plain made you sad sometimes.
That maybe you were just beating upon used drums.
Your silhouette around the moon that night was perfection.
Although your heart, out of sync with mine formed tears in your eyes.
& Yet, I still believe that band-aids and liquid skin could cure anything.
Although the rag doll I’ve become over the years could prove me wrong.
And we were only wrong to think that broken, could fix broken.
I shook the snow globe encased statue that night.
Wishing on falling glitter that something could kiss love into an unloving soul.
That I could cancel the de-hearted rerun shows that replay nightly.
& I hoped for everything that night.
Wishing you would hope for anything.
Just to know that being broken didn’t have to feel so useless.
But you never smiled at the feeble attempts I made.
Just turned away as if you were disappointed that we could never make it.
I walked away.
Hoping for glitter to star your eyes.
Just wishing that for once, you’d be the one to run after me.
I watched you for a while.
Sitting there with your hands bolted to your head.
Like anything at that moment wasn’t worth carving out the pictures on your hands.
But unlike the silent distance between us, I continued to write you stories.
Wishing that closed lips would mumble 3 words.
Because maybe for a while the beatings of my heart were also out of tune.
& I watched you breathe that day.
While I stepped away, crunching through white out skies.
Hoping that you couldn’t find me in the snow mist.
That maybe you’d lost me forever.
& Maybe you’d find someone else to unthaw a love that could never love.
But I heard you running.
As if you could read my brail unstitching of my heart.
As if me crumbling in the snow.
&. Bleeding you something more than love was all you were looking for.
Knowing that the glitter between my veins was only a fix.
Just to feel beautiful on the inside of something so broken on the out.
And you caught me while winter slipped through my hair.
While pushing my chest to yours.
And for every last breath I wanted to take at that moment.
I couldn’t. As your heart pressed against my own.
Feeling the thumping sound of life against two glittered souls.
& As I unthawed a frozen tundra heart.
Unstitching the reused stitches.
I held your hand to the moon.
&. As we jumped from rocky surfaces.
You pulled glitter from your pocket.
And we fell through glittered skies.
Pushed up against each other as two imperfections.
Cascading lights as if we were falling stars.
Something not meant for the sky.
But something too beautiful not to be seen.
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