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"Antique Fancy" by Mistress Morbid

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Basking in the sun's warmth
Listening to the waves
Crash against the rocks
Down below

The sound so placid
Gives a sense of smugness

Dozing off...

Awaking
Noticing a stranger
Sitting on a rock
Off a ways
Staring at her intensely

She sheilds her eyes
From the brightness
Of the sun

How long have you
Been sitting there?
She had asked stunned

Smiling still not taking
His eyes off of her

He then stands up
Slowly and walks
Over to her

Feeling slightly frightened
She scoots back a bit

Noticing her uneasyness
He kneels a few feet
Away from her and
Proceeds to draw a
Heart in the sand

He looks up to her
And smiles

Feeling shocked
That anyone would
Ever show any compassion
Towards her

She gets up and kneels
Down next to him and
Draws another heart
Interlocking the other

As she looks up to him
To smile back
He gives her a strong embrace
Tears of joy filling her eyes

'That was good grandma! Tell us another story?'





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On Monday August 30th, 2004, Deliverence (797) writes:
Cute-esque..-Kefkism


On Saturday March 13th, 2004, Lynaes (1109) writes:
Aw, beautiful and heart warming. The last line gave a final twist of dreamy tenderness. Lovely work, I must say. :) ~L


On Saturday March 13th, 2004, Midnight Orchid (158) writes:
Aww... that was really surprizing. "That was beautiful grandma. Tell us another." That was really weird. I really do love the poem, but I'm not so sure if the last line fits. =-MO-=


On Saturday March 13th, 2004, Mistress Morbid (593) writes:
That is the whole point of the story. Their grandma telling them how she met their grandpa. I dont see how it doesnt....but thank you


On Thursday March 18th, 2004, Midnight Orchid (158) writes:
It was good, it just kind of sounded like it came out of nowhere to me. I don't know, just my opinion. Good job though. =-MO-=


On Thursday March 11th, 2004, Mistress Morbid (593) writes:
I love that element of surprise! This I had fun writing...Thank you for your comments.


On Wednesday March 10th, 2004, Stranger (297) writes:
Your storytelling is so engaging. When I am reading your poems, I never want them to end.


On Wednesday March 10th, 2004, Wish Upon A Star (385) writes:
Ahh a beautiful tale, with a suprising ending. Wasn't expecting that! ~Wish Upon A Star



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/4846/32938 on Monday December 01st, 2008 09:48 PM

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