No one understands
what it feels like
for me.
I'm not normal,
I never claimed to be.
I don't feel like everyone else,
I don't think like you do.
I'm different,
deeply disturbed,
pained.
It's not the same
for me.
I can't do it
without feeling weak,
hopeless,
enraged.
I hate the feeling I get.
The one you'll probably never feel.
I can't do it.
But sometimes I question
why I can see you do it
and not feel the same
contempt
I'd feel if I were lying there
crying
like a child.
Like you are now.
But for you I feel sorrow,
sympathy,
sadness even.
Why am I not enraged with you?
Why do I not see you as weak and futile?
Why are you so different?
You'll never understand
what it feels like
for me.
I can't cry.
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