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"Discomfiting Twilight" by nightshade

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You stare through me as if you’ve lost your sight
Standing there discomfited by the twilight
The shadows grow deeper and coalesce into one
I stand here not knowing what needs to be done
You use the light to keep the darkness at bay
Yet you’re scared to walk in the full light of day
A gothic romance that plays itself out
Leaving you there so full of doubts
You’re scared to face your fears
So they’ve grown over the years
An ominous picture has been created
While you lay there feeling desecrated
Spun round in circles never to break free
Will you spin round indefinitely?
Realize there is beauty that is not seen
Even in the most hideous and unclean
Search within and find the strength you hold dear
Where it waits invisible behind your tears
Step forward and break this cycle so vicious
For this your reward will be most delicious
Step out of the darkness into the light
Fix this malignancy within your sight
Don’t allow yourself to be a victim any longer
For confronting your fears just makes you stronger




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If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Wednesday February 23rd, 2005, Elise (267) writes:
This flowed nicely, unforced to rhyme and flowed nicely. Such a nice message, I have to read more of your stuff sometime soon. ^_^


On Sunday February 13th, 2005, BoldSolitude (277) writes:
Nice message, rhyme was excellant, In the second to last line I believe you meant to say *any instead of *and


On Thursday March 18th, 2004, Choronzon (236) writes:
Very impressive work, dude.


On Friday March 5th, 2004, An Expired Member (11) writes:
wow. i really like. the whole poem was ver moving and amazing. good write


On Friday March 5th, 2004, Urban Shipwreck (990) writes:
I like how you wrapped this one up in the end, especially the last 4 lines. Nicely written:) ~Ship!


On Thursday March 4th, 2004, flying_fox (769) writes:
I like this Night...very heartfelt and some lovely turns of phrase. I agree with Bast re the rhyme, though some of it is very strong. You're a sweetheart. FF


On Thursday March 4th, 2004, nell (328) writes:
i would have to say thta this really does not sound forced like most rhyming poems in that form, you did a really good job getting your point accross and using an array of words to do it, great work;)


On Wednesday March 3rd, 2004, BoldSolitude (277) writes:
I liked the rhyming sequence and the unexpected words you used as rhymns.


On Wednesday March 3rd, 2004, Lynaes (1133) writes:
I agree with Bast, I love what you're saying and how you say it. Lovely work. ~L


On Wednesday March 3rd, 2004, evolve (2220) writes:
Mad props, dear...this one owns.


On Wednesday March 3rd, 2004, Bast (899) writes:
i like the fact that this basically says "life sucks. but it's not all bad." don't get caught up in rhyme- your rhythm would be better, methinks, if you weren't trying to do an aa bb scheme.


On Wednesday March 3rd, 2004, suicideseason (2146) writes:
_"You’re scared to face your fears So they’ve grown over the years " that's so...me.lol.i like the message here...and you are right...through cowardice no problems can be solved.-tim


On Wednesday March 3rd, 2004, Twilight (2103) writes:
you know this one was actually quite a shock to me. the depth in your words was no shock but the meaning..the feelings. so powerful much repect.


On Wednesday March 3rd, 2004, Twilight (2103) writes:
i am so flattered that something this beautiful could be about me. im tearing up here dude. thanks:) you kick ass



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/4525/32355 on Wednesday August 20th, 2008 06:48 AM

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