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"Dashed Hopes" by nightshade

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dashed hopes, shattered dreams
nothing quite what it seems
Black barbs of pain and terror to
honing in straight on you
torment hear my bitter cry
envisioned pain let to fly
hate and hurt turn me cold
eating chasms in my soul
Karma brings back to you
a hundred fold of the pain dealt by you
sleepless nights tortured days
oh how I wish I could stay
To sit and watch your find decay
yet it is my wish to unbound the fey
brought forth from anger,icy hate
unleashed from hell to seal your fate



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If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Wednesday March 3rd, 2004, Lynaes (1125) writes:
Excellent rhyming skill, an awesome piece indeed. ~L


On Sunday February 29th, 2004, An Expired Member (23) writes:
first two lines are my favorite! i lvoe ur work so keep writing


On Saturday February 28th, 2004, OLd SouL (837) writes:
Honestly.. the flow needs a bit of work BUT the emotion is great. Raw, powerful. Find the balance... you can't over concentrate on rhyme or you'll miss the emotion/point. But if you don't have enough, the piece will not be smooth.. Its tough.. but you're


On Saturday February 28th, 2004, OLd SouL (837) writes:
good. :) :::OLd


On Friday February 27th, 2004, flying_fox (769) writes:
great use of rhyme here Night...a very vicious piece. I like it! FF



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/4525/31812 on Monday October 13th, 2008 11:41 PM

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