I want to scream.

I want to run as fast as I can
Till my legs give out under me
Till my lungs get ripped in half
Till I can’t do anything but try and breath
And as I do it
I want to laugh
Or cry
Or yell insults at the top of my lungs
Up to heaven
And point at heaven
And shake my fist at it
And yell at God
“Yes, yes I’m here!
“Yes yes I’m here and you will hear me!!!”

I want to dance
I want to drink
I want to dance and drink till the room becomes blurry
And nothing seems real anymore
And I know nothing but the beat of the drums
And the impulse of music
And move with nothing but ecstasy


And I want to fuck
God! How I want to fuck!
I want to feel someone’s tongue sliding down my throat
Someone’s hand creeping down my crotch
Running their fingers through me till I’m wet
Rubbing me till I scream that I can’t take it anymore
I want to stick my hand down someone else’s pants
And see what I find there
And I want someone to look me in the eyes
Tell me they love me
And lie




I want to outrun my skin
I want to hit my head against a pole
I want to slice myself, cut myself up
I want to feel the ache of my skin tearing
To see the red blood running
And feel pain till I know that I’m alive.






I want to tie myself to the mast of a ship and paint--





God! I need to know I’m still alive!

If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others