Once again I have hung your eyes on my wall. In hopes, I think, of subsiding the loneliness. But the house stenches of poison again, necessary to kill the spiders of my childhood. And the spiders always bring loneliness beyond comprehension. So why the eyes? Perhaps because they give a focus point to my randomness as I have finally lost control (and not for the first time) of my feelings. I can’t tell the difference between the sword, the wall, and my own screaming. But you, eyes, are back on my wall and the poetry belongs to no one but an insane heart beat. If that is the case… when will it stop? Opening doors close and I’m not sure if I have gotten through. So perhaps as evening falls the sun will rise. At least my voices will now have eyes. The last time I had the eyes hanging I didn’t know why either, but I had control over the poetry. Yes, I have lost control of it only once before, and that was before the eyes started. That was when the spiders came but there was no one to focus the randomness on. I can’t stand the stench of poison but I’d rather die than have to live in fear of the spiders once more. So perhaps in the end all else turns back, and we loose understanding of it a little more every time. So the empty eyes will make the silence echo louder, but at least they guide my eyes away from the emptiness. Have I ever understood? I seem to remember that I have- but maybe this is a dream too. Once I talked to an entity, but all stars fade when eyes become empty. Loud as God speaks, I still can’t hear Him.

(October 2000)

If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others