[Just press play]
Growing up together, playing together, dreaming together.
Playmates.
My first, my last, my one and only.
[Play]
My entire life dedicated soley to loving you.
[Mates]
And I'm the fool, I'm the fool.
["All I can think of is kissing your lips, touching your skin, hearing you moan in pleasure"]
I'm the dumb one who loved you,
who lived for you,
who stood quietly by as you fell in love,and out of love
and in love again
(Not with me)
And I don't resent that I was never the one for you.
I knew that all along.
What I resent
What I REFUSE to forgive,
is that you lie to yourself.
["You are the only one I can trust"]
Playmates.
Your personal whore.
And for six years you kept c[um]ming back to me.
For six years I never once complained.
[Hush: "Feel this?" "Hmmm" "Feel it?" "Ohh, Goddd"]
Not much-- unless you're only twenty.
And we both appeared the perfect children:
Good grades, good manners, good & pure little thoughts.
The Perfect Son.
[Playing cards with your mother, while under the table,
five fingers explore wet, warm, places]
Well, you never fooled me.
("Only you know me")
Even if you fooled yourself.
["How can you say that I'm only using you???"]
And you were so proud of your fucking conscience.
As if feeling guilt somehow made you good
or BETTER than me.
[I knew you. I knew how you would touch yourself thinking about me.
I heard your dreams of handcuffs and knives]
How you hated me because I knew you.
Like Jesus fearing Mary Magdalene.
I'm the one preventing you
From being crucified a lamb.
The Perfect Son.
Jesus [fucking] Christ.
[You in me, pushing farther, deeper. Twisted tongue, sweaty palms, burning skin. Cutting me up and sucking my blood as we both reach the closest we'll ever get to Heaven.]
Games. Playing Games.
"I never said I loved you"
Till one day you found the perfect girl
and suddenly you were too righteouss
to even look at me.
"I never said I loved you"
[Handcuffs, breathing, pumping blood through green veins]
And you call me your mistake.
I never said...
Perfect girl.
Perfect wife.
Perfect kids.
Perfect home.
Blood-stained hands washed perfectly clean.
... I loved you.
And I pray,
for your sake and hers,
that your virgin never finds out
[that you did.]
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