sleep is sinking in




dreaming of thoughts
and thinking of sin

broken pieces of the barrier lay strewn everywhere




so do the restraints


yet i wonder what lies on the other side of the glass


turning the page
new chapter beginning
same body
new force


it seems so fitting, but the only thing i'm doing is sitting here now





bricks in the wall

.
there's something in the way
.


watching them fall





.
watching them crumble away
.




waiting patiently for an answer that i refuse to question feels somewhat odd
yet exhilerating


pleasantly exciting i think


but thoughts never travel in straight lines


unless it's down the road called

"ummm....what the fuck?"







and that stupid clock tick tocks away in the background





i hate being reminded of how much time i waste in reality









staring at cross hatch patterns of black and gold/greyishness staring at the silver dragon on my chest waiting for surreality to take effect

being ignored hurts, i realize this


i'm sorry.....i don't care






but then......it's quite annoying, being sought after by sexual drunks

especially when they don't remember it at 6:06pm the next day




all i can do is sigh at it
walk on and away
never to be remembered
except as the one who didn' take that chance

or advantage



so i'm careful







shoot me







i hate that fucking game of never knowing, always guessing at what they're thinking, tripping over the right things to say, never saying anything all the while, unitl you finally (out of frustration) become blatantly honest to find that they "are soooooooo sorry but i can't right now"

i've done that....so i know both sides




fuckin' fuckity fucky fuckin fuck fuck







-deep breath-





....composed....



"that's ok darlin', don't worry your pretty little head about a thing"







....it's cool....





like steel in flesh


i sigh at this discrepency
then walk on and away
back to the glass door
another notch in the frame
and watch silently as the ash dances away with the wind










goodnight reality

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