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"For Lilith" by Bakkhus Unbound

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Sleeping in the cold frost
While the moon low craves gloss
As the dying wastelands dry in bone to rust
Like so many empty beginnings
You taste the crushed cars of crumbling codas
You know the pallid drinks in the cruellest of comas
You know the gore from the flesh of the earth
How all things become devoured by others
So how much more can we rape of her
While the city sits and waits for the rats
To slit & slither down, like rotten apples?
I’ll cut my throat while her children drown
As the worms crawl from inside, and out
I’ll cry,
I’ll murder my own for her delicate wings;
Yes, I will,
As Judas in Gethsemane
Just to feel her breathing, her eternal grace
So many ways how we all could face lust, just to
Touch her.








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On Wednesday May 16th, 2007, The Zebra Warrior (2401) writes:
Lilith ...wasn't she the Jewish legend's wife of Adam; a demon woman? I feel as if this holds more allusion to maybe a modern woman, it has some Romantic esque supernatural feel with a slight postmodern cadence...dunno, I'd have to dig deeper into the poe


On Thursday May 17th, 2007, Bakkhus Unbound (1101) writes:
Lilith was the mythological first wife of Adam (the other Eve); the feminine dark side of the divine in Paradise (there are various legends -in Hebrew: A Mesopotamian storm demon; a night demon in Jewish lore which is what you referred to; all versions to


On Thursday May 17th, 2007, Bakkhus Unbound (1101) writes:
...a point similar, I think- this poem is the Garden's Lilith: Basically Desire/Temptation...). The poem is part allusion/part subconcious. Many of my poems write themselves, but I controlled the structure w/ this one (I've read Eliot so I'm sure there is


On Thursday May 17th, 2007, Bakkhus Unbound (1101) writes:
...some hidden influence there; on that note, Many Thanks). I could've called this poem: "For Women", as that is the heart of the matter, but that feels too vague...


On Wednesday May 16th, 2007, The Zebra Warrior (2401) writes:
poem's origins and lines....getting distracted right now


On Wednesday May 16th, 2007, The Zebra Warrior (2401) writes:
th first 3 lines have a very post-Romantic feel then the wastelands mention could be a more Modernist reference to Eliot? There seems to be a crossing of time's boundaries here...maybe. Beautifully exposed nonetheless


On Wednesday May 16th, 2007, The Zebra Warrior (2401) writes:
"crushed cars of crumbling codas"...nice metallic tang, I'm not sure I can chew the silver chrome as well as you...hah!


On Wednesday February 14th, 2007, purr_verse (1423) writes:
I really love this piece. I meant to comment earlier, but I can be a forgetful bug. It's powerful and beautiful and magnificent. *applauds, encores, applauds*


On Thursday February 15th, 2007, Bakkhus Unbound (1101) writes:
"*applauds, encores, applauds*" LOL w/ sincerity. I made a slight change: "the garden" for "Gethsemane"...


On Sunday February 4th, 2007, zanewill (108) writes:
great write... Lilith is one 2 explore more deeply


On Monday January 15th, 2007, elisa (1991) writes:
wow..... the burnt offerings of a passion lit soul.... very powerful.


On Monday January 15th, 2007, glasshouse (771) writes:
You know... at first I struggled reading this. I was searching for a story, a plot, a definition. I won't say I found it... but in the ending sentiment, I found something beautiful. Each word an addition of eloquence. Beauitul indeed. Well done, as always


On Monday January 15th, 2007, glasshouse (771) writes:
and upon re-reading it with that understanding, I can accept your images as part of the equation. Very vivid. You tend to pull that off far easier than others. Fluid and descriptive. Cryptic as it may seem. Bravo.--Jes


On Saturday January 13th, 2007, carlosjackal (1735) writes:
A rhythm driven beautifully by lines of such intense passion.."I'll cut my throat while her children drown".."I'll murder my own for her delicate wings"


On Saturday January 13th, 2007, carlosjackal (1735) writes:
..and those 1st 2 lines had me mind of drunken late nights that end with sleeping by roads in the cold cold cold..another great write from you, Jon!


On Friday January 12th, 2007, Anna Helianthus (1120) writes:
"You know the gore from the flesh of the earth How all things become devoured by others" beautiful, lyrical piece..i had a tune in my head when i read this. so well done.


On Friday January 12th, 2007, Alanarchy (1695) writes:
Reminds me of a perfect circle. Those first two lines were perfect. I can dig it, man. Beautiful. Write on.



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/415/92729 on Friday December 05th, 2008 09:48 AM

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