DarkPoetry -|- Bakkhus Unbound -|- suitcase open in the rain

suitcase open in the rain

poems,
they flicker
in tandem dreams trailing
from placid mouths
plastic whispers

there is a hum
hypnotized & syntesized by shadows
of bodies, w/ prison laughter

somewhere inside her
sweetness taste of sweetness wings
beauty?s imperfection

in between,

a season faraway
inside the child?s hand
skipping pencils on chalkboard jungles
television walls

riding bicycles to the movies
the universe curved
here there is Paris, over there a blue square
watercolor pearls in her eyes
dressed in fashion rains
w/ a dandelion?s scribbled flaw?

nowhere to go,
nothing left for the haiku?s flame
just words scratched on an empty
notebook
stuffed
in
a
suitcase,
open in the rain.

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Works Inspired By suitcase open in the rain

Poe and the junkies

Comments on suitcase open in the rain

If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Tuesday August 14th, 2007, Reefer_rave (238) writes:

It's all been said....

On Sunday May 20th, 2007, carlosjackal (1608) writes:

*breathes in* Fuck me, Jon, this was fuckin' special. So fuckin' special *croons Thom Yorke-style* If I had room this would definitely be a potential fave. Nice one, Mr Red Sox!! -Carl

On Thursday February 15th, 2007, Bella Butchery (1171) writes:

oldy, but very good! what ever i say will not do service to this beauty, so ill just stop here.

On Friday December 1st, 2006, Magic Hatter (2380) writes:

I should have read this a long time ago; as it happens better late than never...I can why Aim skips the light fandango o this one....sublime doesnt really get close monsieur...I just bow...greatness...blimey!!

On Friday December 1st, 2006, Magic Hatter (2380) writes:

I can see*....see - see. And vision of tis: pure light against my once tired eyes.....phenomenal fantasy-licked rain saoked paragonia....eh? Yeah....dead right

On Friday December 1st, 2006, Magic Hatter (2380) writes:

and sadly I still cant do it justice with the correct spelling - ha!! Still, if we laugh, its a good thing. Pack your bags....we're checking out here and into Utopia's hotel!!!

On Saturday December 2nd, 2006, Bakkhus Unbound (1119) writes:

Watch out for the holes in "Utopia's Hotel". Utopia's hotel, I like the concept. TA on the comment; the weirder the better..."fantasy-licked rain saoked paragonia" yea!

On Saturday December 2nd, 2006, Magic Hatter (2380) writes:

hehehehe...we make efforts to please monsieur...

On Friday December 1st, 2006, mozarts cat (271) writes:

i'm in love with this poem =] ..

On Tuesday October 17th, 2006, mozarts cat (271) writes:

omg .. i just found my mantra!!!! 'prison laughter' ..'here there is Paris, over there a blue square' .. this is like a silent movie .. chic .. perfection .. I adore this .. this is one to keep in the pocket

On Tuesday October 17th, 2006, mozarts cat (271) writes:

.. this is one that I would have liked to have written myself .. timeless .. it's one of the most beautiful things i've ever read! and I shall keep it in my pocket. I think I'm gonna run out of bookmarks =)

On Thursday October 19th, 2006, mozarts cat (271) writes:

i would like to find that suitcase =)

On Thursday August 4th, 2005, Lotophagi (459) writes:

your words are hypnotic... lovely rhythm variation, legato, staccato, it's so precise. The questioning following a delicate melody twisting subtlely around the theme, ambiguity in conjunction with absolute detail. Wonderful. Thank you.

On Wednesday June 29th, 2005, Tangle Box Tales (169) writes:

I love how works like this mislead me ...in the way where I seem to have to keep up as I follow each seeming tangent...only to reach the destination of the last line and see that the thought that Im left with makes such cohesive sense...when prior it seem

On Wednesday June 29th, 2005, Tangle Box Tales (169) writes:

when prior it seemed like Id have to reread it...the climax fills me in.

On Tuesday July 5th, 2005, Bakkhus Unbound (1119) writes:

The '?'s' throughout this poem (as you have probably figured out) are accidentally converted by DP from the apostrophes they should be... save for 'scribbled flaw?' which is quite the irony of errors.

On Wednesday November 17th, 2004, MGood (80) writes:

I love this... ~Mary

On Sunday January 4th, 2004, An Expired Member (46) writes:

This is such magnificent work...ive commented on this piece before and read it many times since,but my words jus cant describe what it is about this poem i find so...different,every word sits so perfectly in place.Definatly a favourite,Butterfly..xxx...

On Thursday January 1st, 2004, An Expired Member (4) writes:

I think I can honestly say that this is one of the most original poems I've read. I love the feeling of motion throughout the poem, whether its through time or space. Fantastic ending

On Wednesday December 24th, 2003, Cwn Annwn (108) writes:

A suitcase in the rain...pretty random...yet i have read another write by another inspiring poet...Wonderful write ~GoNe~

On Sunday October 19th, 2003, An Expired Member (43) writes:

for some reason i find it so appealing..excellent piece,Butterfly..xxx... (Hamlet eh?impressive...its a brilliant play,one of me personal faves.Shakespeare in itself is challengeing enough)

On Tuesday October 21st, 2003, Bakkhus Unbound (1119) writes:

Extremely challenging, Hamlet was, especially since our director placed us in a modern gothic Nine Inch Nails era; Hamlet a junkie, Ophelia in constant opiate delirium; lots of distorted industrial remixed skinny puppy noise; very interesting...insane.

On Tuesday October 21st, 2003, An Expired Member (43) writes:

sounds really interesting...i really like the whole idea,i could see a modern hamlet working really well.I would love to be able to carry off something like that

On Sunday October 19th, 2003, An Expired Member (43) writes:

....i really dont know what to say,i like this piece,i like it a lot.I jus cant describe how it made me feel...wow..sorry i cant leave a proper comment.I love the whole idea of the suitcase open in the rain too

On Monday June 9th, 2003, slow.burn.star (95) writes:

memories.so-halted:joilted.from the rain-a n d bits of night resurface for my shadow is waxing again.__-im right there with you. open to your page.

On Sunday April 6th, 2003, Bast (1007) writes:

I really like your work! I'm sad I didn't find it til now...

On Thursday April 3rd, 2003, Jonas (885) writes:

the last stanza captured me, an excellent end to an excellent work. a city shrouded in a strangely thin mist. standing by a fountain, not running. i remember yesterday the sun was shining so bright

On Thursday April 3rd, 2003, manywalks (972) writes:

Love this style, perfect flow and wonderfully crafted.

On Thursday June 19th, 2003, boughtwithblood (297) writes:

well-crafted. killer last stanza... felt the rain...

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