I have this loneliness inside that no one understands but me.
I guess it's kinda like breaking up with someone you truly love (if there is such a thing as true love), a million times over again, each time taking a part of you, and that place can never be filled again.
Maybe I'm crazy, I don't know, but I'm totally empty inside, and I've tried, I really have, to fill this void, but nothing helps, nothing.
I don't know what to do anymore, I have no feelings but self hate. Although I'm never sure I had those missing feelings in the first place, but I like to imagine a time I felt happy, or loved, and maybe there was a time for that, happiness, love, or any other feelings besides hate, but I don't remember it.
Oh, I may seem happy to you, like nothings ever wrong, that I have a perfect life, but I don't, maybe my acting is good? I don't know.
Very few people get to see the real me, I'm scared to let anyone in after things that have happened.
(ok, so I guess scared is a feeling too, which probably isn't a good combination with hate, but its all I have)
My mom always comments on how I always look sad, like how any second I might start crying. Or how I always look at the ground, and never make eye contact with anyone, like I'm afraid of the world. And maybe I am, but so what, this is all I know.
Judge me harshly, hate me, I don't care, I hate me too. At we have something in common right?
I'm not trying to get sympathy, I don't want it, I'm just trying to be real, to let everyone know a little more about me, sense my poetry sucks and I don't express my self to well there.
So, now you know me a little better, now maybe you'll understand why I am the way I am. And if you don't, that's ok, I don't care... whatever makes your skirt fly up right?

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