Nineteen days
You laugh when I tell you I'm late
How could one party I don't remember
So drastically alter my fate?
Won't go get tested
'Cause I'm so fucking scared
This uncertainty is suffocatingly heavy
Never been so unprepared
I pick up my bottle of Vodka
Oh god, I just want to tilt my head and drink
But the possibility of another's life in me
Sends my poison down the kitchen sink
How in the hell did I end up here?
I ask silently as I get stoned
I didn't do this by myself, so,
Why am I blindly handling this alone?
I'm usually so very regular
January was the last month I bled
"Don't let me be pregnant"
I repeat in my head
In no way fit for motherhood
No one to talk to who understands
Just now studying for my G.E.D.
This wasn't anywhere in my plans
It's too much so I lay down
And force myself to sleep
Vowing to never drink again, 'cause,
Getting shit-faced isn't always so cheap
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