Are you there?
I just don't know,
my soul repeats this question,
I feel it reverberating
through my being
like a ticking time bomb
waiting for conclusion
waiting...
to be...
realized.

How can I trust?
In something
that has done to me
what you have done...
something so narcissitic
as to create
only for the wish
of praise
giving free will
only so long as that free will
be turned to you...
and yet there is no proof
that there is even a you...
at all.

How can I believe?
in something
that never forgives...
who creates a place
of such anguish...
as if I have not lived
enough of that...
here...
and yet I am told that you are
suppose to be filled
with undying love
as a parent
has for a
child.

I want to believe...
I want to trust...
I want to know...
that she is wrapped
in a loving embrace...
even if...
it is not my own...
and that one day
I will have the chance
to hold her again
in the kingdom...
I have been...
promised.

I want to believe...
I want to trust...

but I just have to keep asking...

Are you there?

I just don't know....

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