i'm bending so far
afraid i might break
but it's all for you
as i lie in bed
with somebody else

i've spent these months
pretending and lying
and hoping
it'll change me
from the inside out

it's all the same
i still love you
and hate myself
for screwing up
all that we had

i haven't changed
i just know myself now
and am more determined
than ever
to prove we belong

there are long nights
when i lay and imagine
you right there beside me
breathing and knowing
my life is in you

it's just a pillow
without a trace of life
just a hint of your scent
but then again it could
be all in my head

not sure what to do
i could beg on my knees
turn up my nose
whichever will
coax you to stay

but it's not the same
if you refuse
to try this with me
i don't want to be
with a wall

god, i don't know

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