Living with her for a year seemed like forever, I swear. Every other week she would lock me in the laundry room and throw shoes at the door when I started to cry. "Suck it up you bag of vomit!" She would say...

My grandma never seemed like a woman you messed with, especially when you were a kindergardner, ya know? When sundays would roll around, you shut the fuck up when Lorence Welk came on the Television, or the "telee" as she called it, cause she thought it was cute...

Everyday after school, I would watch Hawaii 5-0 and wish I was there, surfing, even though I hate surfing now. She would turn the channel to watch Perry Mason, I hated that show, so boring, black and white never appealed to me when it came to television, I like black and white photographs though...

I used to spit in her chair when she wasn't sitting in it, and I found out that my mom used to do the same thing when she was a little kid too...

I used to eat the cherries out of the tree and get really sick just so I would be sent upstairs in the pantry (that was my room) and I would sit there, on my matress that sat on the floor, and stare and the canned foods, where there was an occasional dead bat in one of them cause they got stuck in the empty jars...

I wonder what I would have grown up to be if I wasn't beaten by my grandmother, being punched in the kidneys was always a great game for her to play, because it never showed like face bruises did, makes sense, right? Right, ok, anyways, and she would trip me and throw whatever food she had stuck to her moomoo at me, cause it was just the damndest funniest thing ever. I used to play Castle Wolfenstein on the computer, but she found out once and wanted to see what it would be like to close me in the crawlspace beneath the stairs, it was really dark, and there was clown dolls and barbies in there, but I hated clowns so much that I threw out my voice by screaming for my mommy.

I wanna thank her for fucking me up, if she hadnt fucked me up so bad, then maybe I wouldnt have found the path to forgiveness later when my dad yelled at me for years, I forgive her and my dad, cause they didnt understand the damage they did, and I pity them, and am ashamed for both of them, cause they arent human beings to me...

If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others