Punishment, posted by SilentStalker
Author's Note
"Punishment"

The pinnacle of my crazy writing. At the time, everyone who knew the "Axe Man" had gathered that he never was satisfied with writing yet another basic piece--he always had to attempt to outperform himself, or at least come up with a new method of portraying it. So it was expected to see something bold, blatant, and utterly violent as the grand finale of evil writes. This was my attempt at blowing all evil writes away at the time, and I still think I did quite successfully on it. Those that took the time to study it will notice that I mimicked Edgar Allan Poe's structure for "The Raven" in this poem. Oh how I always wanted to be able to use that rhyme scheme, and this was my first time to accomplish it.

--Stalker

Stalker's Works:




Other Authors:

Poets Bookmarking This Work None! This wasn't worth the copy/paste job to put it up on the page! Or maybe it just didn't hit anyone right yet.

You can:

1) Ignore this piece of unfaved crap

2)Mail me and tell me how much I suck, or

3) Feel sorry for my uncreative ass, and Bookmark it.


I must confess I'm Guilty

I just can't get enough

When non-members get pissy

That they can't read my stuff.



So go ahead and hate me.

Break down and have a fit

If your dumb ass could log in

You wouldn't get this shit!!

:D
Copyright 2003 Darun Ferguson
Copying this work to another webpage without author permission is plagiarism.
Plagiarism is a misdemeanor, usually punishable by fines of $100-$50000 and up to one year in jail.
The author has indicated that you may request a written copy from him.



Comments on Punishment
If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Saturday December 22nd, 2007, An Expired Member (17) writes:
That last line speaks to me above all the others. Some might say others are more powerful, or at least more colorful but to me the last line is the most powerful: it is the simple, stark truth. It is what it is. Anchors the entire piece and makes it that much more inevitable. That one sentence shows a line you have drawn in the sand that, once crossed, creates an unavoidable conclusion. I love it.


On Wednesday December 20th, 2006, elisa (2035) writes:
damn....such an addictive piece of perfection.......it reads so very 'matter of fact'........i love it.


On Monday July 3rd, 2006, TheArtOfX (105) writes:
Another well written piece Stalker. Thank you for giving me some exquistley rhymed pieces to read, by the way. Much appreciated.


On Wednesday June 14th, 2006, elisa (2035) writes:
a flawless Raven-esque piece...... meticulous redemption......drenched in poetic fear.....reading this is like bathing in concentrated panic....gives me a very...unsettling feeling..well done, indeed.


On Friday May 26th, 2006, Vexed (108) writes:
nice show of anger in a creative way...I saw darkness, a lot of blood, and i could picture the dismemberment even if I could not picture the person myself... nice...not too long either...


On Saturday April 29th, 2006, CharlottesWeb (593) writes:
Hehe...hehe..hehe...this is so laquered in detail and metre that it was so easy for my mind to see you doing these things in a manical...yet comical fashion! This poem is great...and I love it.


On Thursday March 30th, 2006, Chimauron (126) writes:
CRUNCH! Axe to the chest, bitch! Nicely done, my friend.


On Thursday December 23rd, 2004, HeLlSeND (58) writes:
"I did what I had to do".....yup....i love it....isn't that what we all want to do...violence is the only answer, love is just a legless dancer


On Wednesday December 8th, 2004, AlluringDescent_darkbride (765) writes:
Oh, oh! I think i just had a thought. Yep...a definate thought. Beat me if I'm wrong *wink* Edgar Allen Poe?


On Monday December 6th, 2004, HaUnTed_sOuL (18) writes:
I really like this...u definetly have style:P


On Sunday December 5th, 2004, Liz (407) writes:
Yeah yeah, everybody has a boner for the pain and gore and the meat grinder. Emotion is emotion and I give you credit for displaying it, but what's really impressive here is the rhmye and beat and the fact that you kept it up so well for so LONG.


On Sunday December 5th, 2004, Liz (407) writes:
Your stories are always good, but what's best about them is how you don't ever comprimise either them OR style, to present them best.


On Monday December 6th, 2004, SilentStalker (1360) writes:
...that means a lot coming from you...and I agree...it's amazing how many different ways there are to say the same thing, so that a rhyme scheme can go on effortlessly...


On Tuesday August 10th, 2004, serpentine_fire (208) writes:
I feel alot better now that I read this. I was looking for violence, blood, and death, and I knew exactly where to find it. Fucking awesome piece, I want to go do this very same thing to somebody right now. Thanks for making me feel better :-) ~serpentine


On Tuesday June 29th, 2004, An Expired Member (8) writes:
woo_hoo...ouch nice lots of anger i like the fallen one


On Monday June 7th, 2004, aXe FactoR (428) writes:
woo hoo...ouch..this is wwicked write at its finest. cool. -MeL-


On Sunday May 16th, 2004, evolve (2232) writes:
God, this is golden..fuck yes. Pain and suffering...violence and gore.


On Saturday April 3rd, 2004, darkangelXlll (175) writes:
awesome i love the twist it takes here and there really good and i love the ryhme it seems to have fantastic!! ~darlin :)


On Thursday November 6th, 2003, whort_diddy (204) writes:
good job, I liked it~whort_diddy


On Wednesday November 5th, 2003, Moodswing (72) writes:
are your services for hire.....i have an ex husband that could use a good slicing and dicing....awesome work...


On Wednesday November 5th, 2003, braindead_poet (581) writes:
this was the shizzle. good flow and illustration of a dark mind at work.


On Wednesday November 5th, 2003, Delilah (132) writes:
He he...I liked this one..."I did what I had to do..." The end was my favorite part...great job Darun!!! ~Delilah~


On Wednesday November 5th, 2003, Dancing_Monkey (1843) writes:
yea dude.. that rocked... this was perhaps your best. *makes the devils sign* I allmost saw your scary face right before the axe landed on the bed. Reminded me a bit of American Psycho. the colors was also cool, I did gues it would turn orange - red. wowz


On Wednesday November 5th, 2003, An Expired Member (14) writes:
WOW! The delivery, what you where describing... bravo!


On Tuesday November 4th, 2003, AlluringDescent_darkbride (765) writes:
Wow...the rhythm in this was amazing. Each line flowed into the next.


On Wednesday November 5th, 2003, SilentStalker (1360) writes:
...I did have some inspirations from my most favorite poet...I wanted to use this form since I was 11; finally did it...and I'm glad I did...


On Tuesday November 4th, 2003, gothemite (398) writes:
o0o0o beautiful.. i love your rhyming


On Tuesday November 4th, 2003, An Expired Member (43) writes:
Greaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttttttttttt... i am speechless...Silent! Amazing !!



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